Mrs. Affair

Prologue [Her nightmares]

"Reese! Reese! Get your fuckin' white ass down here right now" My foster mother yelled.

Where other kids got woken up by their alarms ringing, their parents knocking gently on the door or their dogs barking.

For me, I had Clarrisse screaming and barking at me to wake up, screaming at me to hurry and make breakfast for her children while she and her filthy husband smoked some shit I will never know.

"Reese! You motherfucker, y'better get your ass down here or am sending your father to drag you down" She screamed again, her already hoarse voice extra scratchy as she did so.

I groaned, shifting on my small mattress thinking of how some people took little things for granted.

How I wished I would wake up and see my legs dangling on a bed as I searched for my flipflops but I was the unfortunate so I woke up from my mattress that lay on a thin mat so I had to actually stand off the bed to put my worn out flipflops on.

"Reese!"

"I'm coming!" I yelled back. I stumbled around sleepily but I finally found my footing and my slippers and then I was rushing down the stairs in a hurry since I didn't want to hear my name screamed at me for the fifth time today when I had just woken up.

"Reese!"

Of course she had to scream my name once again.

"I'm here. Jeez woman!"

"What did you just say? Huh? You talkin' shit about me white girl? Huh? You think you're better than us just cause you're white. Stupid white people!"

I let the angry lady have her way with the ever same words, choosing to ignore because this was an always process.

Everyday of my teen life, I had to endure her sneers as she threw every horrible word she knew at me and at this point, I was used to them.

I was busy smearing the bread with peanut butter when I heard that soothing sound of khalilah's little feet paddle down the worn out stairs and I smiled to myself. Finally.

"Reesyyyyyyy"

Her little scream was mind awakening and I smiled wider when I saw her little feet run over to me with her arms wide open. I swatted down to her level and she knocked right into me.

Her little arms wrapped around my neck and I breathed in that sweet baby-ish scent and it calmed my whole rigid body.

"Get your filthy hands off my child"

"Come to mummy baby girl"

I could see Khal flinch at her mother's harsh tone directed at me. She then hesitantly looked at me so I put on a fake smile and nodded at her and she was off to her mother's disgusting arms.

I took my time making the sandwiches and then I heard the heart wrenching sound of heavy footsteps descending the stairs.

I could feel my whole body freeze up as the heavy footsteps boomed behind me.

I could hear the animalistic heavy breathing behind me, so close to neck, making my body shiver and goosebumps span my skin.

Disgusting.

I could feel those disgusting hands, trail up my thighs before gripping my behind and I could do nothing but gasp quietly which made the disgusting creature behind me pinch my skin. Hard.

"Reese! Can you fuckin' feed my child already? Hurry the fuck up"

"Honey! I'm going out for a minute. Make sure that that little fucker gets to school on time"

It was funny how she went from screaming rampage at me to talking sweetly and loving to her 'lovely' husband.

I could feel my eyes sting as I felt those dirty hands close my mouth while my foster Dad said his goodbye to his "lovely wife"

The moment the front door shut, the muscular man behind me shoved my whole face onto the counter and I could feel my whole face throb painfully. It was definitely going to bruise.

I tried breathing in shakily as I heard that metallic snap of a belt. Not again.

"Daddy? Why is Reesy crying?"

No! What was she doing here?

I shoved off the huge man in panic and that was my worst mistake.

I had endured this treatment for a couple of years now. Being tormented, being spat at, being sneered at. Being raped. Five years now, I had endured the pain with no complaints but today was too much.

Not in front of my Khal. She was too young and innocent to see such and horrible sight.

Her supposedly father didn't think the same though. The man grabbed a fistful of my hair before pulling me over to him.

I screamed as he threw my side right into the edge of the counter, I heard a sickening sound of breaking bones and the pain that hit me, I was not ready for.

My vision became blurry but I saw it, I saw my Khalilah run to me and I saw the murder in her father's eyes, murder directed at his own baby.

No! Not Khalilah.

No!

I woke up abruptly, shaking as a leaf,  soaked to the bone and hyperventilating as the aftermaths hit me.

Another nightmare.

Today was a Sunday, I was supposed to be asleep by now.

My alarm clock blinked at me harshly reminding me of how I couldn't get enough sleep without hearing their voices inside my head. At 3:12 I was up, my silk gown sticking to my wet skin, my eyes bloodshot and my body trembling slightly, neither from the cold nor the wind.

The voices, once I heard them they didn't stop and the memories became too much and all I wanted right now was to lie down force my brain to shut down before I lost control again.

The memories felt heavy on my brain today, creeping on my mind, resurfacing and unwanted images kept popping up behind my closed eye lids.

Horrible memories. Horrible feelings.

Death. Blood. Loss. Guilt.

Before the guilt got to me, before the pain overwhelmed me and before the memories wrecked me, I decided to do what I always did to shut down my mind, to wear out my brain.

Drink.

Drink until I saw nothing. Drink until I felt nothing. Drink until I couldn't think.

Drink until I couldn't remember.

Drink. Drink. Drink.