love together, be with you never

lrnz

Concentrated. Brows crossed together. Hands busy drawing on the paper. Lips pressed together with strong determination.

That's when I first saw him. Amidst all the crowd, his image was the only one thing i could see. For over an hour there, my eyes never left his face. I memorized every bit of it. Including the way his lips will twitch, his eyes would roll and his nose would crinkle.

'The man on blue' that's what i call him. I've never saw him since tha painting competition but still remembered his face. And as the months
passed by, his image in my mind began to lose. And soon after, he was out of my whole system and i completely forgot everything about him.

But everything changed when I saved a drowning man on a sheltered island. When I pulled the stranger towards the bay, that's when I realized that it was him. The man on blue.

When he started to open his eyes, i began to panic. I didn't know why but I just found myself swimming back towards the opposite side of the island. And since then, I've never saw him anymore. And I felt regret rising up on me. Maybe because I didn't had the chance to hear his voice or his name.

One evening, while I was on a coffee shop, a man sudddenly sat across me. I was shocked, of course. But when I saw the man's face, all my doubts and the anger boiling up inside of me was washed away by an amazing feeling i could never name.

He told me his name, at that very moment. He told me that he remembered me and I was the girl who saved him on the island. He told mo how thankful he was and that would it be alright if I'll have a dinner with him.

Of course i accepted it.

And so, after that first dinner, we had our second and then our third. But after the third dinner, he never showed up again. I don't know why but i was hurt. I just couldn't accept the fact that he was gone.

But when he showed up on my office with a bouquet in his hands, I suddenly leapt and hugged him tightly. I didn't care what he would think of me. All I know is that I want to be wrapped inside his arms and feel the frantic beating of his heart. Like the way I did from drowning.

"I Love You" he said.

And then BOOM!

Everything has changed. From single, i went into in a relationship. Everyone was jealous of me. I had a goodlooking, talented and a gentleman boyfriend which I am very proud of.

For years, we made each other happy. We enjoyed each other's company. We cuddle, kiss, fight, kiss, and then made up. We never let go each other's hands. We held tighter than before.

We planned on getting married on the fall. But we decided we should work for more. And so we had to wait for another three years to get married and by that, I would be 24 and he would be 25.

But when his ex-girlfriend showed up, everything fell and crumbled on my feet. And I found myself picking up the pieces and putting it up together in order to regain and save our relationship. And thankfully, I did. I managed to erase his ex-girlfriend's face on our picture frame.

But our relationship wasn't like before anymore. A wall has risen between us. And I coundn't find a way to break it for good. Because as I continue to break the wall that separates us, he kept on building that wall over and over again until i got tired and surrender.

I made him choose. Me or his ex. And he choose in between, the easiest way for him. He chose to walk away and think everything thoroughly. He's going to have some sort of meditation because he wanted to know whether he still loves his ex or me.

He told me to wait for a year and i sadly waited. But a year has passed and he didn't returned. Another year has passed and he came back with a fresh smile on his face. I welcomed him and greeted him the usual.

"I still love you" he said.

But it was already too late. But I don't feel sorry for what I've done. It was his choice to led him to depression. And even if he fell on his knees and cry a river of tears just to bring me back, I won't. Because again, for the second time around, I am already tired. Too tired to accept his love again.