Recovery vs Relapse

* Chapter One ~ Sasha Louise Williams

Hello. My name is Sasha. I'm 15 years old and I am a normal teenage girl. Well, I guess it depends what you count as 'normal'. I do normal teenage things. Go out with friends. Use the Internet. Experiment with make up. However, the truth is, not one person knows the real me. No one knows what can happen behind closed doors.
After bad days at school, or having an argument with someone I love, I would always turn to my best friend. I bet you are all thinking, my mum? One of my pets? A friend from school?

No. I would turn to my razor.

I couldn't help but feel relieved as the sharp edge of the blade ripped my skin in two. Deep red blood leaked out and trickled calmly down my wrist. Pain soared through my body but it was a strangely good feeling. I was in control at that point; it was like I was in my element.
As the scars faded, I felt a sense of panic and felt obliged to bring them back. So that's exactly what I did.
Now I had entered, I was trapped in a deep, dark world of depression. It was a place which was impossible to escape. And sometimes, just sometimes, it becomes a little too much to hide.
"What happened to your arm, Sasha?" People would ask inquisitively, eyeing my scars. They stared into my eyes, as if they could see exactly what I was hiding.
"Oh that? That was just the cat. Nasty little mare she is." I replied smoothly, stretching a smile.

To make matters worse, there was a boy I had my eye on. Liam Saunders was the hottest boy in our year. He came across to be so kind and gentle to everyone; I had really fallen for him. We had been talking for a while, but he didn't seem to want a relationship with me. And who can blame him? Who would be interested in a depressed suicidal girl with scars covering her body?

One morning break at school, I spotted him from the other side of the cafeteria. When Liam clapped eyes on me, he smiled and began to walk over. It's like he had just seen me in a new light. Suddenly, I came over all shy and flustered. I felt my whole body shaking violently, but at the same time I felt a buzz of excitement. Calmly strolling towards me, he gestured his hand and I obediently wobbled towards him.
"Hey, Sasha. I'm having a party at mine on Saturday night. It starts at 7. Fancy coming?" He spoke softly. I was stunned.
"I'd love to," I replied.
"Great, see you then," Liam smiled. He patted my shoulder and then sauntered back to joint his mates.

I felt on top of the world; I couldn't contain my excitement. The person I loved so much had invited me to his party. But little did I know, it was all going to become worse from that point forward.