Her Silence

Chapter Six

"The past beats inside me like a second heart." John Banville

I open my eyes to murmuring and something touching my head. I close them again and open them to a much more comprehendible view: James and Jacob were sitting either side me, James stroking my hair, both deep in quiet conversation. It then occurred to me that I was on the floor, my head resting on a pillow from Jacobs seat, and my body covered in someone's jacket. James's, I presume. I wriggle around until my arms are in front of me and am then taken over by complete exhaustion and unbearable heat. My presumption is proved correct as James takes his jacket off of me in panic as I begin to flare up.

"How?" It was an open question, to say the least. How did I end up on the floor? How was it apparent that I was being framed? And how did my Mother find me? The last question was more for me to figure out than anyone else.

"You had another panic attack and hyperventilated so hard that you fainted." Jacob barely whispered. Another one? I turn over to my side, my face resting against James's leg who was still stroking my hair. I look up at him to see him looking down at me, in wonder I assume, his brown eyes searching for something. But there is nothing to be found here except from misery and torture. I close my eyes again. James nudges me and I look up at him once more, a lop-sided smile plastered on his face.

"Hey, no more sleeping missus. You've had a good fifteen-minute kip down here and I'm being to get a numb hand and cramp."

"I fell asleep?"

"Yeah. It took it completely out of you." I sigh. They're getting worse again, and this is only my second one. I sit up and Jacob hands me my glass of water, watching me as I take deep chugs until the dry feeling in my mouth no longer exists.

"I'm sorry." I look at Jacob and smile, nodding. I understand. His pride and joy is being jeopardized and if there is an advancement in finding out who is to blame, of course he would jump on the bandwagon. I take his hand in mine and squeeze it, assuring him that it's okay and that we will get to the bottom of it. There are so many new questions, so many unanswered, and all of them are absurd and my fault. Wherever I go, evil follows.

James stands up and offers a hand to help me. He then reaches into his pocket and pulls out a card, offering it to me. Without looking at it, I know it's something I can tease him about.

"Don't tell me you run a patisserie business on the side of fighting crime?"

"Something like that." He smirks. I look down and it is simply a card with his name and number printed on it. "I want you to contact me immediately if anything else happens. Suspicious behaviour, odd goings-on; I want to know. Someone has got it in for you. Understand?" I nod. "Good." He turns to Jacob, "if that's all, I'll be off."

"Of course. Thank you." And with that, James leaves Jacob and I in the office.

"Can I stay and sit for a while? I don't think I can go out there and be with those who have blamed me."

"Oh Rosie." Jacob sighs, "I won't tell you who first came to me saying it was you, but I'm pretty sure even they had heard it from someone else." Great. Knowing the rate that gossip spreads around this place, I'm sure that by tomorrow everyone will know what's been said.

"Who do you think it is?" It may be too brash to ask, but I figure he may at least have a vague idea.

"Honestly, I haven't a clue. I have always been meticulous in choosing who works for me and you know that. It breaks my heart Rosie I..." He then breaks down in tears, something I never thought I'd see. Hot tears then begin making their way down my face and a wave of absolute terror hits me: I am going to be found, and the place I deem home is going to become the target of my downfall. More people are going to get hurt asides from myself and Jacob.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I know he isn't aware of half of the things I'm apologising for, but I offer my condolences for what we both know. It's one thing being hurt yourself, but witnessing others suffer on your behalf makes your own pain even worse. Whilst Jacob composes himself, I add James's number into contacts and message him asking him if he is still here. He replies almost instantly, saying that he is currently in traffic but that he can turn around and come back if I need him. I ponder for a while, considering what telling James everything will do and whether it's worth spilling my secrets, but reminding myself of the state that Jacob and Tidy is in right now forces me to make my decision. I know that for the truth to be uncovered, my own truth has to be revealed. I send James my address and ask him to meet me there in fifteen minutes, as my shift had ended during the time that I'd been in Jacobs office.

"Jacob I'm going to home now. Is there anything I can do?" He smiles and shakes his head.

"As long as you stay safe and keep an eye out, I'm afraid that isn't much more we can do. Let me know when you get home." We stand up simultaneously and immediately draw in to give each other a hug; I wrap my arms tightly around him as though he's going to disappear. There is something poignant about what has happened during the past half an hour, and it makes me sick to the stomach that something worse could happen to the man I consider to be as close to a father as I could get. As for my real father, it's gotten to the point where I don't know how to feel about him. I blame him for everything, nothing, and all that's in between. My Mother likely feels the same about me.

*****

The past really is catching up with Rosie now... all shall be revealed within the next few chapters!

I think this chapter is so key in understanding the development of the characters in this book. What is your favourite thing about each character so far?

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