Numb Without You (One Shot)

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Why is it you have this one of a kind effect on me? Every time I hear people say your name it makes me want look around and see you, it makes me want to talk to you, to hug you, to kiss you and to tell you how much I love you. But every time I look back, everything I want just fades away and it turns into anguish. The thought of You and Me together hurts me so bad knowing that we're over and can never ever be together.

Why do I feel this kind of pain? Whenever I hear your name memories of you and me starts to flash in the back of my mind, memories saying how much of a fool I am for letting you go and not giving you any explanation of why I wanted to let go of you. Memories saying how stupid I am for not noticing how much you cared for me, of how much you are concerned of me, of how much you loved me. Because I was too fond of reading books and novels to notice those simple things you do that gives me ravishing feels.

I thought that I have already moved on, but I thought wrong. I saw a picture of you with someone, only the two of you, you guys were so happy that I felt a sting of pain right through my chest. A sting of pain saying I haven't really moved on, saying I still love you, saying I can't stand seeing you with other people looking like a couple. But what can I do? I am a nobody to you anymore, I am just one of your past. A past that still loves you, a past that still thinks of you every now and then, a past that looks like a complete stranger to you and a past that you do not care about no more. I'm hurt. Deeply hurt that I can not do anything about it.

I find it funny that I once believed that You and I might actually end up together, that You and I might actually prove the world that "Forever" does exist, it's a good thing that I only believed in it and that I did not hoped for it. I find it funny how many times I said that I wanted to move on and forget about you, but I still could not move on. I tried to forget you 'cause I know it's over. God knows how hard I tried to forget you. But hey, maybe trying really is not enough. Tell me, what can I do to forget you? I am desperate, like really really desperate to forget you. You can not blame me if I am this desperate, I have felt too much excruciation just by thinking we are no longer together and that you have someone with you that can make you happy.

Maybe what you felt towards me was something foolish and that it can be deprive, Infatuation in other words. Mine was different, what I felt for you was something that can be cherish, treasure and value. It was something that you've lost and something I that could not put back together anymore.

The pain is not gone, but I have learned how to live with it.