shaundis row

Conquest: the story of human history.

Since time immemorial, great leaders have risen from humble beginnings to...

...do shit.

And so it was with the THIRD STREET SAINTS. Since conquering Stilwater, the once small-time street gang has evolved into a media empire.

A Saints movie is in development, JOHNNY GATand SHAUNDI are pop culture icons, and Pierce...

...well, who gives a fuck about Pierce?

The point is, the Saints are on the world stage, and every criminal organization wants to take their crown.

It was only a matter of time before one of them took the fight to the Saints...

When Good Heists Go Bad...

In an elevator at the Stilwater 1st National Bank, an unknown brown-haired man displayed a commercial to Johnny Gat and Shaundi, two of the Saints' top lieutenants, for the recently-released Saints Flow energy drink on his smartphone, displaying fellow Saints lieutenant Pierce Washington, by taking a sip of the energy drink while being brutalized by several thugs, effortlessly gaining the ability to fend off the thugs using Dragon Ball Z-like attacks and dunk a basketball into a hoop shortly thereafter, then striking a pose with the can, yelling "Super-excellent!" as colorful Japanese symbols filled the screen.

"Japanese commercials: easiest money you'll ever make," the man confidently stated, his attitude suggesting the commercial was his idea. In response to the advertisement, Shaundi slightly shook her head in disgust while Johnny appeared as though he couldn't have cared less about the advertisement. She honestly thought the nature of the commercial was outright ridiculous, to say the least, but if it sells, then it sells, apparently. After dismissing the commercial as an afterthought, Johnny reached down to the brown duffel bag placed in front of the trio and pulled two glistening silver pistols from its insides: two .45 Shepherds, to be exact, which was the trademark pistol and an outright essential weapon for any Saint.

"Grand larceny's right up there," he replied as he handed the two silver pistols to the man. When it came to making money, he always preferred doing it the old-school way: by raising hell and ultimately stirring shit up. Johnny then pulled a TEZ K-10, another trademark Saint gun of choice, out of the bag. "You ready for this?" He asked him as he handed the submachine gun to Shaundi.

"No worries," the man coolly replied while twirling the pistols in his hands as if they were toys, "I do my own stunts," and placed the two .45 Shepherds in the empty sockets of the pistol holsters that were attached to his jeans.

Shaundi scoffed to herself after witnessing the actor's behavior. She could already tell she wasn't going to like this guy. "Hey, you're just a ride-along, man," she coldly remarked to him while checking the submachine gun to ensure it was loaded and tuning the voice changer hooked over her choker, "so don't get all Hong Kong-style in there."

"I am a method actor!" He replied in a confident tone once more while giving her a stern look with his dull, brown eyes. "If I'm gonna portray a Saint with any degree of emotional truth," he continued while also tuning his voice changer placed on his neck, "I've gotta make it real!" He finished while Shaundi scoffed in disgust, as if saying "Oh, please..." which wasn't too far off from what she was thinking.

Suddenly, the doors of an elevator opened, revealing the boss of the Third Street Saints. "Trust me, Birk," he calmly reassured the actor in an unrecognizable tone while cocking a TEK Z-10 in his hands, "it'll be real," he finished as he placed the loaded gun to his side.

Birk was nearly taken completely aback by the boss' appearance and voice. Not only did his voice changer make his voice sound completely compared to himself and the boss' lieutenants in terms of how the device morphed it, but he was dressed in a mascot outfit that completely resembled Johnny Gat from head-to-toe, except that it was intentionally oversized for comedic effect and appeared to be bearing a color scheme that was extremely vibrant compared to the duller colors of the original outfit it resembled. Behind him, Johnny and Shaundi were placing their identical mascot masks on as well, which were contained inside the duffel bag under the guns that Johnny had previously pulled out.