The Truth Hurts

"You're an asshole"

When these words were spoken out loud to Greta Manning she had the sudden realization, that she indeed had been an asshole. I mean she already knew it, but she didn't feel it in her bones as you do, when you accept something for the first time. 

"I'm fine, I get it." Her voice was an octave higher as she responded to her friend. 

Astra was tall, slim and always had music in her ears. 

"You asked me to be more honest, so I am doing it." 

Greta knew this, and she accepted that this is what she asked for. And in reality she needed to be called an asshole for her to go back to who she really was. She never tried to be an asshole, it just kind of came about. In her eyes she was doing the right thing. She asked for space to deal with things and a couple of days later she sent a long message explaining she was indeed a recovering addict and she had just started her rehab process. Because in her mind, this would ease her mind, if she was Astra. Hearing that your friend that you thought was crazy was indeed getting help from specialists to be better.  It would make you feel better, and not think they were an asshole. 

Astra didn't see it that way, and Greta could not figure out how she had stuffed up the relationship to a point where she thought it could never go back. 

They walked the rest of the way in silence, not talking much. But the silence spoke the loudest out of all the words they'd ever shared. 

That afternoon after parting ways with Astra, Greta had no choice but to go to the clinic. She had an evaluation to complete about her addiction and what the best route of recovery would be. Inside of her she felt that weird feeling of guilt mixed with grief, shame and a smidgen of anger.  

When she reached the clinic her mother was waiting outside for her to arrive. 

"Greta, what took you so long?"  She hurried her into the clinic. 

"Sorry, I was walking with Astra."

"You need to put effort in to come to these appointments on time or you'll have to go to the impatient care."

"I get it mum, you're ashamed that your little girl was doing hard drugs and alcohol, for a year and a half without your knowledge. I get that you hate the fact that you were left waiting outside for two and a half minutes, where your boss could have seen you. God forbid! I get that you're ashamed. But I am too, so join the party." She wiped the tears from her face with her over sized jumper and flopped down into one of the chairs.

"Greta Jennifer Manning, I get that you haven't had cocaine in your system for three days. But you don't get to be an asshole to me - " Just as she was beginning her list of issues she had, a nurse walked out and interrupted, 

"Greta Manning?" 

"Thank fuck you're here, I was a second away from loosing my life." Greta stood up and walked to the nurse. who hesitated before asking,

"Are you coming in as well, Ms Manning?" 

"I think I'll go home, I'm not feeling the best. See you later." With that she walked out of the clinic in a huff. 

"Sorry about that, she's not taking this well. I should've just stayed on the drugs." 

The nurse nervously laughed as she led Greta down the hallways of the clinic, until they reached the end of the hall.

"Dr Beech is waiting inside for you." 

"Thanks" Greta nervously opened the door and walked into the office.

"Hello, Greta. I'm doctor Beech, you can call me Miles." He held his hand out for her to shake. 

"Hi doc, I'm not Greta, I'm the biggest asshole in town, if you hadn't heard already" 

They smiled at each other as they moved to a couch on the other side of the office. 

"Let's see if we can find a way to fix that then."