This first one spawned from a thought I had yesterday: "If it were legally and modernly acceptable, we all know that Hades and Nico would lock Sam up in a tower."
Hades: You want to go outside? Why, Samantha Look at you, as fragile as a flower. Still a little sapling, just a sprout. You know why we stay down in this castle.
Sam: I know but-
Hades: That's right! To keep you safe and sound, dear. Guess I always knew this day was coming. Knew that soon you'd want to leave the nest. Soon, but not yet.
Sam: But-
Hades: Shh! Trust me, pet. Father Knows Best. Father Knows Best. Listen to your father. It's a scary world out there. Father Knows Best, One way or another. Something will go wrong, I swear.
Ruffian, thugs. Poison ivy, quicksand. Cannibals and snakes. The plague!
Sam: No!
Hades: Yes!
Sam: But-
Hades: Also large bugs. Men with pointy teeth, and Stop, no more, you'll just upset me!
Father's right here. Father will protect you. Darling, here's what I suggest! Skip the drama, Stay with father. Father Knows Best.
Go ahead, get trampled by a monster. Go ahead, get mugged and left for dead. Me, I'm just your father, what do I know? I only bathed and changed and raised you. (Sam: You never did any of those things.) Go ahead and leave me, I deserve it. Let me die alone here, be my guest. (Sam: You're a god. You can't die.) When it's too late, You'll see, just wait. Father Knows Best.
Father Knows Best. Take it from your daddy. On your own, you won't survive. Sloppy, underdressed, Immature, clumsy. Please, they'll eat you up alive.
Gullible, naive. Positively grubby. Ditzy and a bit, well, hmm vague. Plus, I believe, Gettin' kinda chubby. I'm just saying 'cause I love you.
Father understands. Father's here to help you. All I have is one request.
(Spoken): Samantha?
Sam: Yes?
Hades: Don't ever ask to leave this castle again!
Sam: (sighs) Yes, daddy.
Hades: (sighs) I love you very much, dear.
Sam: I love you more.
Hades: I love you most. (sung) Don't forget it. You'll regret it. Father Knows Best.
Sam: I think he likes me.
Hades: Likes you? Please, Samantha, that's demented!
Sam: But Father, I-
Hades: This is why you never should have left. Dear, this whole romance that you've invented, Just proves you're too naive to be here. Why would he like you? Come on now really! Look at you! You think that he's impressed? Don't be a dummy Come with daddy. Father-
Sam: (cutting him off) No!
Hades: No? Oh. I see how it is. Samantha knows best. Samantha's so mature now. Such a clever grown up miss. Samantha knows best. Fine, if you're so sure now. Go ahead, then give him this!
Samantha: How did you?
Hades: This is why he's here! Don't let him deceive you! Give it to him, watch, you'll see!
Samantha: I will!
Hades: Trust me, my dear! That's how fast he'll leave you. I won't say I told you so! No, Samantha knows best! So if he's such a dreamboat, Go ahead and put him to the test!
Samantha: Father, wait!
Hades: If he's lying, Don't come crying! Father Knows Best!
The Original Trio's Anthem:
Percy: Taming the tides, swarming the seas. Beware barracudas, drop to your knee. Defending our friends and anemones. As big as a whale! (Annabeth: but with a much smaller tail.)
Percy: Facing the foe with our fearless flukes. Daring the dastards to put up their dukes. Great globs of gore, we'll storm the shore. And seek the unknown.
Grover: then can we go home?
Percy and Grover: Titanic hits and Daring smashes. (We're) Adventurers slash explorers. Titanic hits and Daring smashes. (We're) Adventurers slash explorers. Our gallant quest to do our best. And smile for our adorers.
Annabeth: We'll save the day.
Grover: And make a splash!
Percy and Grover: Titanic hits and Daring smash(es)!
Percy: We'll clobber those crabs with their clammy claws.
Grover: We'll sever those sharks with their savage jaws.
Percy: The battle is fierce, Grover: and mercifully brief.
Annabeth: The conquering heroes return as kings of the reef!
Percy: We'll dine with the best, dressed with a flair. Climb every mountain because it's there. Come on, follow me, we'll make history. To courage, to us, Annabeth: the lightning (bolt)! Grover: or bust!
All Three: Titanic hits and Daring smash(es). (We're) Adventurers slash explorers. Titanic hits and Daring smash(es). (We're) Adventurers slash explorers.
Percy: We'll save the day!
Grover: and make a splash!
Annabeth: Annabeth!
Percy: Percy!
Grover: And Grover!
All: All for three and three for one. Olympia, here we come!
