Pepe arrived at the police station at about 7:45. All along the ride he saw countless Trick or Treaters. All sizes, costumes, ages. He even saw one dressed as an elephant. Maybe thats what the kids were into now a days. But there was no chance that Dr.Phil might still be on. Or that he could have his Eggnog while watching it. He was very very very upset. Almost angry. But he had calmed about a lot since what Barbra did.
"Name, Age, Height, Birth Date." "Wha? Huh.. OH Im sorry! I'm quite out of it at the moment." Pepe didn't really care about giving his information to a stranger. But he didn't what to make their jobs harder than they already were. He just wanted to go home.
Despite his lack of care, Pepe told the man his info. And he went along with what they asked. "Breath into this thing, It will see if you're drunk, or over the legal limit." The officer held a huge, quite scary, contraption in front of Pepes face. He breathed as hard as he could until he heard a beep.
"Lucky for you you're not over the limit. But you were drinking and driving. This is the third time, buddy. You're gonna have to stay over night."
Pepe was in shock. He had never been to jail! He had never even gotten pulled over. "Um, Sir, there must be a mistake. Why I've never even gotten pulled over before! This whole thing is silly."
Apparently cops don't like being told that they're wrong. Because Pepe had to stay over night. I could tell you the horrifying events that came after. But I think I'll spare you the emotional pain.
"Wake up! You got a visitor." Pepe woke up in a daze. He barely remembered where he was. It must have been at the most, 7 am. "Whos come to visit??" All the sudden there was a bright light, and a figure, almost blinding bright. Pepe knew that color from anywhere. It was Barbra.
"Barbra?!? What are you doing here?" "Oh, Pepe, I'm so sorry, If i knew this was going to happen i would never have done what i did!!" Pepe said he forgave her. But in his mind he was plotting how to frame her. Murder? No, Too far. Spike her drink too? No not enough. He finally decided on posting those pictures of her and Gizmo around the office. He had walked in on them having a "conference" a few weeks back.
"I'll get you outta' here, I promise." A few hours later the guard came back and released Pepe. It about about 10 by now and Pepe was exhausted. He hadn't got much sleep, and hadn't slept at all after Barbra arrived.
Barbra drove him home and when they arrived Pepe invited her in for tea, he could have offered Eggnog. But he would never share with a person like her. Also, he was still mad that he didn't get to drink it at the right time.
"Pepe, I'm really sorry for making you go to jail over night. I wish there was a way to make it up to you." "Oh.No.She.Didn't. She is not going to do what i think she is right? Ugh." Pepe thought to himself as Barbra tried to seduce Pepe.
This is the part of the story where I tell you some thing that you need to take with you for the rest of your life. If there is one thing you do NOT do, its try to do the hanky panky with a man who had missed Dr.Phil, and his Eggnog day.
Pepe took Barbra by her hair (which he soon found out was weave) and dragged her out side. "YOU DISGUSTING WHORE. FIRST I TRY DOING SOME THING NICE FOR A FRIEND OF MINE. SO THAT HE DOESN'T GET IN TROUBLE. AND I MISS EGGNOG DAY AND DR.PHIL. DO YOU KNOW WHAT YESTERDAYS EPISODE WAS?? DO YOU BARBRA?? NO. YOU DON'T. BECAUSE YOU DON'T WATCH IT. SO YOU WOULDN'T KNOW. I TOOK THE TIME TO GO INTO WORK. TO MAKE COUNTLESS BURRITOS. HUNDREDS AND HUNDREDS OF FLIPPIN BURRITOS. THEN, I GO TO TAKE A SIP OF MY DRINK, WHICH MIND YOU, WAS NOT FLIPPIN EGGNOG, AND IT WAS VODKA. VODKA, BARBRA. OH SHOULD I SAY, NO BRA. THEN, ON MY WAY HOME I WAS RELAXED. AND HAPPY. AND EXCITED. THEN I GOT PULLED OVER A COP. THEN BECAUSE OF YOU, I HAD TO GO TO JAIL. AND I HAD TO TALK TO A MAN ABOUT HIS FOOT MOLE. A FOOT MOLE, BARBRA. THATS WHAT HAPPENS IN JAIL. RAPE, AND FOOT MOLES. THEN, AT 7 AM, YOU SHOW UP IN YOUR FLIPPIN UGLY DRESS THAT IT SO 2005, AND YOU DRIVE ME HOME WHERE YOU THEN TRY TO DO ME. NO."
Barbra looked as if she was about to die. Which she did. Pepe killed her. He sliced her neck right in his back yard. He hid the body, and since she was unable to hold down any relationships. No one noticed she was missing.
Thats when Pepe woke up. It was 6 am and Gizmos alarm was going off. "Whew, that sure was a doozy." He got out of bed and walked over to Barbra, who was sleeping with Gizmo on their bed.
"Mornin' babe." Gizmo said in a tired voice. "Is there anything you need from the store?"
"Yea, can you get Pepe some cat food and eggnog, hes out."
"Sure, See you later, Love you."
"Love you too."
Thats when Pepe remembered. He was a cat.
