~Insanely Cool~ (Jared Kleinman x Reader)

Part 8~ So I Tell Him

   Hey I'm actually fuckin writing this thing bc I should. I'm sorry about like never posting but my life has been uh, fucked recently so yeah, haven't really been in the mood or had time. I'll try to update more but as I said life is currently fucked so, uh yeah.

I slump down in my seat and contemplate life. Was Christine right? Did I have a chance? Ever since school started, or well, that day at Seven Eleven, Jared has been getting closer to me, like he's trying to make up for something..?  I wish feelings weren't this complicated.
     "Ay yo, what the fuck, (Y/N)?" Jared asks me as he sits down beside me. "What's up with you today?"
     "Oh I uh, I guess I'm just, I don't know? I guess I'm tired of like, out of it?" I tell him, but my voice doesn't hold up to the reassurance.
     Jared looks at me, obviously not believing the words that recently spewed from my mouth. And he looks at me with a mix of concern and disbelief.
     "No (N/N), you- ugh what that fuck am I saying? Anyway, I wanna know, did I do something? Like were you uncomfortable last night?" Saying that earns weird glances from other students, and my face becomes red.
     "Hey, hey, (Y/N)? You good? I'm like being serious you're like, you are acting different, and if you're problem is me, I wanna know what I'm doing wrong," Jared says sympathetically, and then looks into my eyes. "Please." And then, that breaks me. So, I tell him.
    Except I don't, I tell him that I'll talk to him after school, and he agrees, still giving me that look. The damn sad puppy look. The one that makes you feel guilty. He's a pro at that because it definitely pulled at my heartstrings.
   Class, like always, goes in a blur. A hazy, dreamlike blur. I've never had a problem with school honestly, it's necessary.  It's inevitable. Jared on the other hand, he hated it. Absolutely despised it.  He said it was, and I quote, "A bitch ass ritual of stupidity." Whatever that means. Yet, somehow, he has straight As? Like what the actual fuck?
    I walk into the next class, thankfully the last, and very thankfully, it is a study hall that I have with Nicole, Michael, Evan, and.. Jeremy. Used to be amazing now he's a popular asshole. Like I'm actually pissed with him.
     "Heyo (N/N)!" Nicole beams to me while Michael is I'm close proximity to her. Lovesick assholes. But I still love them.
     "Hey, Nicole, hi Michael!" I tell them, genuinely happy to see them. I'm kinda needing a break from Jared, I mean he's my best friend, but like, I feel like it's awkward. Sometime, some way, somehow, I'll screw up and tell him that I've liked him since the 6th grade. Even when he was an asshole. Even when he blew me and Evan off like we were scum of the earth. I see Evan walk over to me, and as soon as he's over here, I give him a hug.
       "Yeah, (N/N), you missed me, ok." Evan tells me while still enveloped I'm the hug.
    "Yeah, well, you're my favorite brother." I tell him, which is true, even though dad is-is uh getting another son, which is like, replacing Evan. He already replaced me, and I just sobbed, I mean, what do you do when your own dad wants to replace you? It hurts, so bad. He never visits or chats with us, which is just, upsetting.  It infuriates me. And only Evan knows about the replacement fear-thing. No one else, not even my own mother knows.
      Study hall continues and Evan notices Nicole and Michael 'snuggling' together while silently reading. Every once in a while they'll mumble something to each other, like 'you're so comfortable.' Or 'man, are you ok?' Or the cutest, 'dudeee, your hair is so soft.' They're absolutely adorable. They have feeling for each other, they just have to admit them. I-I feel like a certain someone would say the same thing to a current situation. Trust me, I'm thinking about it.

What the actual fuck was this chapter.