Because of Oliver

Because of Oliver- Prologue

I have never really thought about the past before, the people who once lived but no longer do. To be quite honest, I have never really cared. I always hear people talking about living every day like it's your last but I never listen.

My Grandma always told me to settle down with the right person, the person that makes my stomach tingle or the one that's not afraid to stand up for me. I tried listening to my Gran's words but the truth is, Im terrified. Im scared of deciding on the right person to be with and then changing my mind at the end of my life, Im scared of making the wrong decision and being with someone I hardly even know. But the one thing that scares me the most is committing. My Mum and Dad divorced a year ago and them splitting up just pushed my hopes down one more level.

My Mum tells me she adores my Dad very much but just can't make herself love him any more. I don't understand that at all, isn't adore just the equivalent to love? Or somewhere along those lines. How could we tell anyway? Love afer all is just another word, made up of 4 useless letters of the alphabet.

My Dad gave me a ring last year, the ring he proposed to my Mum with. It's in the bottom of my cupboard, surrounded by clothes and items I will never use, it's like a needle in a hae stack. Just a piece of cheap metal. It's hard to believe that lousy circular silver was used once to symbolise something a huge as committment or love even. I guarantee you, you will never see that ring on my finger. Never.

I wish I was twelve again, I wish I had the guts to cut up all of the fairytale story books I ever had. What if Cinderella's shoe didn't fit? What if Sleeping Beauty never woke up? And what if the little mermaid never got legs? There's always an 'if' somewhere in my mind but when people write tings down on paper, everything seems to be perfect.

**

So I ask myself now. What if I didn't cater for that old man's funeral? What if I didn't hear a word of the speech Oliver was givng? What if I never fell in love? And what if I never suffered heartbreak? Everything would be perfect 'if' I didn't meet Oliver.

NowI have found myself, all because of Oliver.

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"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."

-St. Augustine