Sad Girl Memoir

Lied

Why did you have to lie? Why wasn't the truth the easiest thing to say? Is lying to someone you "love" so easy that you could keep it up?

I'm fiddling my thumbs, reaching for the truth, but it's not there. You haven't been truthful.

Why is the hardest thing for people to do is tell the truth? All I asked was for you to be real with me. Keep it up you're doing so good. Why are we painting a picture that'll never be the truth?

All I want is for you to say here's the reason I did everything. You say, "it's because you're so.." but I don't want to be "so.." Everything is coming into question, and I don't want it to be. Back to the beginning, I'm not being difficult. I'm trying to do the best for me. My heart aches. You were there through the worst, and I tried my best to be there for you too but, you lied.

Your denial hurts the worst.

You pretend that I don't know what I'm talking about, but I caught you. I see the truth, and it's not there you're still protesting. "Who is this person?" That's not you. Another lie slipped off your tongue so easily, and I'm wondering were you being honest about anything.

"You're so pretty I just wanted to be with you. You weren't with me for looks." I wasn't with you for looks, but you lied about your looks. The smallest thing can cause a ripple. Now, where are we? Are we broken? Am I lost?

"Give him another chance."

Another chance for what? You hurt me. You did this. I admit I had my faults and I caused a lot, but I was always truthful, with who I am. You mean a lot but I'm not so sure anymore. I have my doubts. I want to cry, but the tears don't seem to fall. How'd we get to this point?

There's so much negativity why don't we all try being more positive? I'm typing out my feelings hoping maybe you'll understand, but I don't see you understanding any time soon. I don't want to hate you. I never wanted this to happen. How do we get from doing so well one day to everything changing in a matter of hours?

Was everything a lie? You're being emotional. Stop feeling so much.

I let you in just to be let down. You saw all my scars and never judged. But here we are you haven't been being one hundred percent. I thought we'd be past everything. How do you do that? Deep breathing and heavy thoughts, my mind is heavy.