A World Of Death And Yellow

Chapter one

Monte Lake Mental Hospital, 2019.

I sometimes spent my days thinking of a possible ancestry I might have. I always wanted to know where I came from, where my biological family came from. But in my situation that was near impossible.

I heard of ancestry tests, and I asked to get one when I turned eighteen. Which by the way, had greatly made my adoptive family uncomfortable and they gently brushed it off. I love my family to death but no matter how much I wanted to believe I was theirs, we for instant, looked very different.

"Are you sure you're okay? Are the new medicines too much?" My mother says, and I stare at her, before I glance towards the purple centipede that is climbing up her hair, and upon my gaze, The centipede winks at me.

I smile at my mother and nod my head in assurance, she breaths out in relief before she caresses my chin gently.

I look at her wide brown eyes, to her dark brown skin then to her mess of curls that are ten times curlier than my own. I then glance at my father's pushy eyebrows, big brown eyes, dark brown skin and slight beard.

"I missed you" I whisper as I hold my father's hand and I can't help but glance down at our hands. My skin, is so much lighter than his, but still in the shades of brown. I've always obssesed over the characteristics I carry, My hair, my eyes, my skin colour and the many more things that I always question the origin of. Did my birth mother have my hair colour? Did my father write with his left hand too? supposedly, and as told by my mother they found me when I was barely four years old at the side of a highway. No one knew where I came from, and I mainly communicated with sounds and was too violent with the other kids. After two years of therapy, I was a whole new child who soon enough was adopted by the kindest couple, my parents.

I don't remember any of it.

"Ophelia? Did you hear what I said?" Father asks and I mutter a "huh" and he sighs before he mutters, "I asked if you wanted to go outside for a bit, just to get some fresh air."

I look outside the tiny window near my bed at the grey sky and then shake my head, "the sky is grey, it's about to rain"

Both my parents look at eachother with a worried expression and I ask, "did I say something wrong?"

"No..I- it's just the sky is blue.." my mother stutters and nervously looks towards my father and then to my sedated sleeping roommate.

I look again outside the window to a still grey sky, I sigh before I lay my back onto the pillows and stare nonchalantly at my parents waiting for them to act as if it's my fault that i'm Schizophrenic.

"Ophelia-"

"Mom, please don't. I am feeling sleepy, and I would like to go to sleep" I say, as I pull the covers over my body even though I don't feel cold.

My mother stiffly nods her head before she stands up, and walks away. My father lingers behind, drops a kiss on my forehead before walking outside the door, and closing it behind.

They're tired of doing this.

I don't really blame them. All they wanted was a normal adopted child but what they got was me.

I huff and move the covers away from my body, I then shuffle through the drawers beside my head and grab the worn out brown leather notebook that has "always believe something wonderful is about to happen" on the cover and open it up to an empty page.

Entry journal number 51

Things are getting clearer and clearer now.

They no longer look like fogs of swimming colours that seem to pop up everywhere, or at least that's how they seemed to me sometimes.

I saw a purple centipede and a grey sky today, it's not that big of a deal, I mean not really the worst i've seen. I guess, i'm really getting used to it after all, it's not like they ever went away anyway.

My parents still clung on to the thought that I somehow manifested the hallucinations, when really I had them all along. They only became more common and clearer as I got older.

I think they hate the fact that it was this severe, I mean after all, in their eyes I grew up as a normal kid who didn't just always see weird things or swimming fogs of colours everywhere.

I am sick of pretending that this is all okay, I don't want to see yellow pigs, or purple centipedes anymore, I just want to be normal.

I am twenty years old for god's sake, I should be out there living my life and not getting wasted away in some mental hospital.

But I was the one who submitted myself here after all, I was the only one to blame.

It was all my fault.

I slam the journal shut in frustration before I rub my eyes, and figure out that I really am getting sleepy after all.

I tug the covers over me again before I stare at the clock, the lights always turn off at eight o'clock. I stare at the hands of the clock as they move around and around feeling as they would go on forever. And when the hands indicate eight o'clock, the lights turn off and I close my eyes.

I hold tightly onto a red velvet skirt.

There's an earthquake.

We're going to die.

I hold tighter onto the skirt knowing what's going to happen next.

No matter how tightly I hold onto the skirt; it always slips away as I fall into a dark cold hole.

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Hello,

This is the first chapter, I guess. I don't honestly think anyone would read it but myself. I also think it's not that good. It's okay. I only have like 2 followers anyway lol.

No cap. You're amazing for reading this.

Thank you.