this isn't a story... or maybe it is, I really don't know at this point. but to all those heart broken people who are reading this, I understand, maybe not the little details but, I do understand the big picture. I understand that is hurts, that you're hurting, and maybe not all the time but sometimes every now and them flashbacks come to you and it feels like you're hurting for decades. Which is why heartbreak sucks.
some say there is an age where you will understand heartbreak, I say there is no age. As it will happen in different stages of different peoples lives. many of your reading this will believe what you choose to believe, but me this is my truth from my point of view and if any of my ex boyfriends end up reading this and have a different story on our relationship I'm sorry you see my view as wrong. but this is my way of trying to stop the pain the pain of my heart breaking every two seconds, because I'm so tired of this pain, I want to be happy... I really do so I'm trying this and I maybe one of you will write to me about your experiences and we can talk.
Ex Number 1:
his name was Brandon, he was amazing and to be honest I have no complaints about him he did everything right, even though our relation ship did only last one day, and to be fair that was my fault for not being ready to be in a relationship. But if I ever saw him in the future and got the chance to date him again I would do it in a heart beat, and although we might not last as we are changes people since we were 13 years old. he still holds a very important place in my heart. I have no complaints about you. So to Brandon the women you will marry one day is one lucky lady, I wish you both luck in your future and hope you succeed in life you deserve it. because you were amazing you would wake home with me everyday even when me and my friends left school and hour late you would wait for me and I adore you for that you truely are the best and I don't regret anything about you being in my life at all. I wish you well, even though we don't know each other anymore as we both moved away.
Ex Number 2:
Caleb, you were something special, you were very special to me and you still are. you were the first boy I said "I love you" too, and I am grateful for you. You may not be as kind as Brandon, but you had a bigger impact on my life as I wouldn't be who I am today without you, so yes I am happy I dated you but you did break my heart in the end, and to be honest I think I may have broken your heart to blending things. I still remember the day we started dating, it actually took a month, and It makes me laugh every time, as I remember siting in my room on the floor having a sleep-over with my best friend messaging you and I just remember having this courage to ask you out with I did, and you ended up rejecting me, then a month goes by and we are still taking I'm at another sleep-over with a different best friend and you ask if I still like you and I say "maybe... Jk nope" and then we continue on with the conversation and I asked why did you ask and all you said was "I want more." and it took me and hour to actually get you to form a proper English sentence saying "I want to be more than friends", and that's how we started as a couple. and it may not seem like it Caleb but although we ended on bad terms I still love you I will always love you, your my first love and always will be nothing can change that.
but the way we ended broke my heart, and what you did may not be considered as cheating but it was unfaithful to me and our relationship, so I really hope you learned your lesson of not wanting to grab other girls boobs and making it obvious in front of me but saying it in guy code because I have lot's of guy friends that spilled the beans for me about your behaviour. but the sad thing was we didn't learn our lesson the first time and keep coming back to each other, we really should of given up after to one go. but the is all in the past now and I still love you for making me for who I am to day with your dirty humour that rubbed off on me and for the love you gave me for when we were younger.
Ex Number 3:
Faegan, you had such a unique name and it really didn't work out for the best as my dad started to call you faggit and then the rest of my family actually thought that was your name. but Faegan I really don't think I loved you at any points in my life but you were important to me as you were my first kiss, such a big deal for a 15 year old girl. but I get it though how we ended you feel out of love because I am a complex girl and that will never change the only thing that will change is someone who will understand me as I am. We had so many up and a lot and I mean a lot of downs, and although we aren't friends anymore as you cheated on me (which I didn't find out till after we broke up much much later) you did have my back and I'm grateful for that, and I know you are happy with Mel so I'm happy for you. but at the begging of you dating Mel did have a big impact on me as I asked if you could wait before dating any one for a few months as my heart got broken, and even though I may have not loved you as much as my first love our break did hurt me (p.s he broke up with me on Valentines day, shitty I know right), but I'm thankful for our break up because you found someone who truly makes you happy... I did not, but oh well he will be talked about a lot next. So Faegan I wish you well with Mel you deserve her.
Ex Number 4:
Every time I think of you I get angry because I hate you, but then I don't hate you, but I do, but I don't, to be honest its complicated. Sam what you did to me was awful plain awful, and I hope you still feel horrible to this day for cheating on me with four other people. But I know you don't care anymore I know you are happy with someone who is stupid and won't understand if you cheat on them. but you Sam, you broke my heart into a million pieces and it hurts to this day and it has been 8 months with out you. those 8 months have been full of anger and hatred not all for you but for myself as for 4 of those months I still loved you. but things have changed you broke a lot of thing in our relation ship like my trust, heart and promises you made. we lasted 6 months and our break up was messy, especially when you yelled at me for not trying in our relationship, with was a low point you had reached because you knew I would do anything for you I even meet your parents when I have extreme bad anxiety, and you have the courage to yell at me for that when all I wanted to do was cry, but I battled through and meet them for you even though it was one of the hardest things I ever had to do, and you knew that... unlike when you cried because you didn't want to tell your parents you had a girlfriend.
I think the worst thing you ever did to me was try and hook up with Faegan's girlfriend the same girl he cheated on me with. that was probably the lowest blow ever, not to mention she was the one to tell me you cheated on me and gave me hard cold proof.
so sam even though you have a new girlfriend now I am still majorly fucked up with what you did to me, the way you treated me and Im so mad at myself for letting it all happen, I know you don't care at all but I hope one day you realise what you did was wrong, but no girl nor women should have to suffer pain like that. at the beginning of our relationship it was great it was amazing I did love you and maybe just maybe you did love me, and I don't regret those memorise because I did love you at one stage in my life, so no I don't regret anything, I just hope you learned your lesson and don't cheat on another girls, because lord knows you have already chested on your girlfriend now... so stop cheating mister.
by the way sam I wish you well and I hope you understand what you have done and end up with a good person who you won't cheat on. because deep deep down you are a good person. (p.s. I don't hate you anymore)
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so maybe a part of me is broken but that's okay because one day I will find someone to love me. and ill be happy with them and they will be happy with me, even through the ups and downs. in till then I will keep giving information to the broken hearted boys I am crushing on that my friends broke their hearts and hope one day someone will fall in love with me and won't fall out of love.
- Stevie Harrison
