The day I lost him

Chan-Present day

It's been nine years. Nine years that I will never get back. All the work I have had to do in these nine years. All because of him. All because of all of them.
They got me here. I shouldn't blame myself. But I do. I blame myself because if I hadn't been so naive all those years ago I wouldn't be missing now. I wouldn't have a sweet little, well not that little, girl who I truly adore. That's the best part, and even that has been hard. Sometimes, I wonder what it would be like if I wasn't taken. If I went and found them all. Found him. It's a shame, they don't have me anymore. They don't have me under their controlling  influence. By they, I mean my family. My sister Charlotte, my brother Ryan, my mother Lisa and my famous father Chris. I'm contemplating going back. It's so long since I've seen them, maybe they've changed? I know they would love my daughter Rosalina as she would be their first grandkid. But I don't know. Am I being crazy? I've read a lot in the paper and they look like they have changed, like they care. I know they are still looking for me. I know it. I just do. So I'm going to go back to my nostalgic home. It would be a better place for Rosalina to grow up, not just a rotting, smelly apartment with no furniture in it. I'm going to get two train tickets tomorrow and we will be off. I hope they will be delighted to see us. I hope to see him. I hope. I hope. I hope.