gawsten // one-shots

december

cresit to kissablility on ao3 :)

(a/n: guys this one is rlly sad it got me in the feels. also the words in italics are the lyrics to this song⬆ which is a great song btw it always makes me cry)

summary: a gawsten one-shot based on december by neck deep

(Stumbled around the block a thousand times

You missed every call that I had tried
So now I'm giving up
A heartbreak in mid December)

It had been a year since they'd split up. A long, difficult year. Geoff walked through the streets of Chicago, the snow crunching underneath his feet. It had been an entire year, and he couldn't stop thinking about him. His name echoed through his head, pumped through his veins. All he could hear, all he could feel was that fucking boy's name.

He stopped calling after two weeks. Awsten hadn't disconnected his number or anything, but he just never picked up, or called in the first place. Geoff understood. That was a sign, a sign that he wanted to stop talking to him.

He fucking hated this city. He hated the snow. He hated the buildings. Every fucking thing here reminded him of the boy he once loved. Scratch that, loves.

It had been a long, difficult year. As said before. A long, difficult year of constant reminders and a constant longing for the same man who left what felt like only hours ago. Every day it was the same.

Except for this time of year. Right now, it was far more enhanced.

(You don't give a fuck
You never remember me
While you're pulling on his jeans
Getting lost in the big city)

It was a year since Awsten left him for someone else. The guy he left with's name didn't matter, though. All that mattered was him.

He missed it. It being the times they'd spent together.

He missed walking down the street, hands woven tightly together, not caring what everyone else thought of them. The way their fingers were either too freezing or too sweaty, but they were too involved to care.

The way his heterochromic eyes shined in the sunlight. The way his already pale skin turned ghostly white.

He missed kissing the side of his head every night before they went to bed, right beside eachother, and woke up the same way.

He missed everything.

(I was looking out our window
Watching all the cars go
Wondering if I'll see Chicago
Or a sunset on the west coast
Or will I die in the cold
Feeling blue and alone
I wonder if you'll ever hear this song on your stereo)

He still lived in the same apartment. He was supposed to move out months ago, but he couldn't force himself to. It felt wrong. Even if it had been a year since he'd gone, it still felt like Awsten's apartment too.