It was always you

Chapter 10

-Grohl March 2019-

I found myself standing in the kitchen. There were dishes everywhere and a funny smell from something in the trash can. I was starting to get hungry, trying to remember the last time I actually ate something. Maybe it was days ago? I didn't remember. I decided to order a pizza. The fat in the pizza would probably take care of some of the alcohol that I had consumed. I picked up the phone and dialled the number to order a pizza. It would be here in 30 minutes. I cleaned the kitchen table while thoughts wandered off agin.
We had continued like that. Sneaking around. For years that was our lives. Hotel rooms, cupboards, smaller rooms backstage, hidden corners and other hiding places. Constantly looking over our shoulder to see if anyone had seen us. Just being together behind closed doors where no one could see us. At first it was exciting to sneak around but as time passed both me and Taylor got tired of it...

-2001-

"Fuck this shit!" Taylor said

It was after a show and me and Taylor were backstage in a small locked room. We usually disappeared together like this after a show, hiding somewhere, sharing kisses and the occasional blowjob before finding our way back to the others. This time it was different. Taylor seemed off, he had been off for days, yes weeks even. Drinking too much, smoking too much and I suspected that he was experimenting with drugs too. I was really worried about him. But every time I brought up the subject he insisted that he was fine. And I just let the subject slide, even though I had a big lump nagging in my guts.

"Fuck this shit Dave!" He said again "I'm fucking tired of sneaking around, hiding like this!" He turned around and faced me "Aren't you tired of it?"

"Well... yeah of course I am..." I said

"Then lets just tell the others babe!" He exclaimed reaching out with both his arms in a gesture.

"Who do you mean when you say 'the others'?" I asked

"All of them! Everyone! Tell the whole fucking world"

"The whole fucking world" I chuckled "You're always so dramatic Taylor. Maybe we should start with those close to us?"

"Yeah sure... But can we tell Chris and Nate at least? Tonight? Please David."

Oh he knew that he had me just where he wanted to when he used my full name.

"Are you sure thats what you want to do Taylor?"

"I love you David! I am so fucking in love with you. And I want the world to know now."

"I love you too Taylor" I said and pulled him close and kissed him deep. I never git tired of hearing him saying that. I broke the kiss and looked into his eyes and stroke his hair out of his face "Let's find Nate and Chris and tell them"

And a huge smile spread across my lovers face.

*

"What's the news guys?" Chris asked when we had called them to come to our room.

Nate and Chris shared a room and so did I and Taylor, nothing wrong with that and no one would suspect anything we thought. Now we all were sitting in mine and Taylors room, Nate and Chris were slumped down on the sofa and me and Taylor sat on the edge on one of the beds in the room. We never used both beds, we always shared a bed, tangled close together. Suddenly I felt nervous. I knew that we were sure about telling them. But also when we had said it out loud there were no turning back. Taylor looked up at me and I could feel how Chris and Nate were studying every move we made waiting for us to speak.

"Well..." I started, damn this was hard. "Me and Taylor has something to tell you..."

I stopped and looked at Taylor, he nodded like he wanted to help me, to tell me that he was ok with this. But his hand was nervously drumming on his leg. I reached down and took his hand and locked our fingers together. Chris saw the movement and rise one of his eyebrows but didn't say anything. The room was dead silent, and everyone waited for me to speak. Why was it always me that had to do these things.

"Were fucking together ok!" Taylor suddenly said and laid our locked hands in his lap for them to see.

For a split second Nate and Chris didn't say anything, they just looked at us. Then two huge smiles spread in their faces.

"That was about fucking time!" Nate laughed

"Yeah! About time you guys" Chris said "Very happy for you."

I felt my chin drop, I was so confused and so surprised. They weren't surprised by this? It was news to them? It wasn't a chock to hear? Taylor must have looked just as surprised as I was cause both Nate and Chris laughed again.

"You really didn't think we knew?" Nate said

"Well...." I started "No..."

"How...?" Taylor said

"Come on you guys!" Nate said "We share a wall with you at most hotels and one of you is loud!"

I felt how my face turned red, they had heard us?

"Yeah." Chris said "And you always disappear after shows and reappear together and you both have that newly fucked look on your faces."

"Oh yes you do" Nate said "And at some point some years back, must've been before you joined Chris, Taylor stopped picking up girls. That was the first clue! You continued to flirt with them T, but you stopped taking them with you."

"And Dave you've always had that 'He's mine girls, all mine!' banter up on stage, as long as I have been in the band" Chris said "Oh and do you remember that story you told me Nate, about that time in the tourbus?"

"Oh yes! When I walked in on you Dave, on Taylors bed. Did you honestly think I didnt see Taylor under the blanket? His feet were sticking out from the blanket for fucks sake" he laughed

"And we just started to put one and one together. Wasn't that hard to be fair" Chris said

If it was possible to turn even redder thats what happened to me now. I really thought we had been careful and they had known all this time. I looked at Taylor. He sat with his mouth a bit open and he was also red in his face. I had no idea how to respond to this.

"Come on! We're happy for you!" Nate said smiling "Honestly!"

"You knew all this time...?" Taylor said

"Yes we did" Chris said

"Why didn't you say something...?" I asked still stunned by this.

"We waited for you guys. If you were happy with things as they were, we didn't want to rush you into anything else." Nate said

"So you're ok with us being together...?" I asked, still stunned but feeling like I was on my way back from the frozen state of mind and the redness in my face had faded.

"Of course we are!" Nate said

"Hell yeah!" Chris said

"Ok then" I said, feeling relieved and smiled wider than I had done all night "Ok then!"

"Well. That was easier than we thought it would be." Taylor laughed, I could hear that he was relieved. "Let's go down to the bar and celebrate!"

"Sure. Why not" Nate said

We all stood to walk out of the our room, Chris and Nate walked ahead of us. I couldn't resist pulling Taylor close to me and for the first time in front of people I kissed him. Kissed him deeply and tenderly, giving him all of the love I had inside. Chris and Nate turned and saw us kissing.

"Aaaaawwww!" They both said with a teasing sound in their voices.

Both me and Taylor flipped a finger at them and continued kissing, I could feel him smiling against my lips.

"I would say 'Get a room' but were already in yours" Chris said "You want us to leave and let you celebrate in the bed instead?"

And finally we broke away from the kiss. I could see Taylors lips were slightly swollen from the roughness of my beard.

"No we're coming with you" I said not taking my eyes from the beautiful man in front of me. "We're ready for the world now, right lover?"

"Hell yeah!" Taylor said and he looked happier than he had done in ages and that made my heart sing.