Days to Insanity

Chapter Two

Day One

Nathan Young

I've been planning this day since I was ten years old and I watched my father walk through the door because my mother was caught cheating on him.

I wake up to the alarm going off at 12 A.M. that says 'write the letter to Mom'. I have a lot to do today.

Almost deciding to give myself five more minutes to sleep, I quickly sit up before I can do so, walking over to my desk. There's a blank piece of paper and a pen sitting beside it, waiting for me to sit down and write.

I always told myself that the letter to Mother would be the hardest, therefore I should leave it to the day it happens. I start writing, telling her how I've always missed my father. Telling her how this town life wasn't enough, and how I've always wanted something more. How I've always lived in my older brother, Peter's, shadow, and how I just want to leave, hoping she'll understand.

I put it in an envelope and remind myself to go downstairs and put it on the dining table after my brother leaves for school - he leaves at 6 A.M. for basketball practice. I know my mother won't see it until later - she doesn't come downstairs till late on Fridays because she doesn't work. I know that I'll have to go for the first two periods. I'll be dropping off the letter to my brother in his locker.

I look out the window, seeing snow starting to fall. Hmm. Maybe we'll have a day off if it manages to snow that much. It would work out well for me. Sighing, I sit back on my desk, unsure of how to write the letter to my brother. How do you put into words that you've never been able to despise anyone more than your own brother?

Before I know it, it's 2 A.M. I decide to call it a night and go back to sleep.

There's a heavy ache in my chest, one that's filled with worry and excitement. I've been waiting for this day for six years. I get a Snapchat notification, and already know that it has to be about someone's birthday - no one else ever snaps me, except for the Snapchat team themselves.

It's Ryland Patterson's birthday, and her Snapchat name is "RYE" with a lot of emojis. I barely know the girl, but I remember in freshman year she made me add her on Snapchat, back when I was actually invited to parties.

I put my phone back and stare at the ceiling. I'm finally leaving this shitty town, this shitty place.

***

I get to school by foot, carrying my huge duffle bag with me, hoping no one will notice - they never do, I've always been invisible, anyway.

I'm early. The only people in school are the basketball guys and the music club. I can hear them playing - and stopping every five seconds because someone is out of sync - as I dump my duffle bag into my locker.

I didn't intend to be this early, but I suppose it's the excitement of leaving. As I get out my French textbook, I see the hallways getting filled up by people. I keep my eyes fixated on my locker but look up when I hear voices singing Taylor Swift songs.

The group. Ryland, Charlie, Finn, and Sylvia. They barely talk to anyone but each other - except for Ryland. She's friends with everyone. I watch as Finn and Ryland stop singing when a crowd of people come in front of the four of them, wishing Ryland a happy birthday.

I slam my locker shut, taking a small detour to the library to return the books I took out last week. Might as well. I wouldn't want Mom paying for the fees when I take the books with me. I quickly put the pile of books on the counter with the post-it note: Needs checking out - Nate.

I go to the library frequently enough for the librarian, Ms. Poppy, to know by now that I always return books before the first bell rings.

I quickly enter the classroom as the bell rings, feeling satisfied that I'm on time. Everyone goes silent when they see me enter. I keep my eyes on my usual spot, not wavering once, going to the back of the class, sighing to myself.