You as the 8th member of BTS

i love you jiae kim ♡

Namjoon POV

   This can't be happening. This isn't happening....right. As soon as I got the news of Jiae's and Soekjin's accidental the worst thoughts crossed my mind
     "She's dead isn't she" I mumbled to yoongi as we all waited on the very uncomfortable hospital chairs....so much pain has been experienced right where I'm sitting.
What's stopping the love of my life from becoming another statistic or another faceless story for doctors to tell. She means so much more. How could that cowardly bastard get in that car knowing that he could hurt people.
"She's still in surgery they say she'll be out soon. The doctors say she has a shattered femur and she broke a couple ribs....ohmy God....my baby" her mom says through her quivering lips.
I cant take it anymore...I have to leave. I rush out of the room. Tears dripping down my swollen cheeks. The same cheeks Jiae used to poke. It used to annoy me so much. Now I miss it. I miss her touch.i miss the feeling of knowing that's she safe and loved. Oh god she's probably so scared.
All alone.

I've made it to the bathroom. This is it. The life of my baby is hanging on by a thread. "Jiae Esther Alvarez-Kim I love you I've loved you from the moment I laid my eyes on you. Your innocent smile God how that made me blush. Shit. It still does. Suddenly jungkook and hobi come into the bathroom.
" hyung are you alright" jungkook asks softly and quietly...which is funny since hes literally one of the loudest people i know.
"She out of surgery shes back in the room" and with that I was running...running back to my little potato my little cinnamon roll my hunny bun m-my jiae.
"WAIT HYUNG YOY DONT WANT TO SEE HER LIKE THAT" jungkook tried to yell to him...but to no avail.

The human is body is such and amazing thing. So strong. So resilient. Yet. So weak so fragile so....temporary.
"Oh my God" I say as I see her in that hospital bed a tube down her throat...I should be the only thing down her throat. A barren white cast covering her perfect juicy thigh. Her parents bawling to see their baby so broken. Jin is sitting there in the couch frozen eyes red and puffy.The other  members her manager and mr.bang in tears.
It's funny how one person can change your life. Her mom turns her head and sees me standing there frozen in shock."n-namjoon come here my child she says as she breaks away yfrom her broken husband and her crying daughter to comfort me. I'm a nobody. She walks over to me and gives me a big huge the same type of hug that Jiae used to give me....before.
"Yerin s-she" I say
"I know I know"she says softly.
"Yerin....I love her"
"I know hon we all do"
"No yerin..I love love her like i want her to be my wife I want to grow old with her. I want to die in her arms. I want to be hers and I want her to be mine. I've loved her since I first saw her. I've loved her ever since I saw her sing for the first time."
I saw as I push her off looking deep into her eyes. "Namjoon...I know" she says with a smile on her face.
Everyone comes over to us crying...laughing yoongi,hobi,jimin, Taehyung, kookie...everyone. well almost everyone. Admits all of the hugs I can still see jin just sitting there with his hands on his head. He probably blames himself. I finally break away from the hug and go and sit by him...he's crying for such a loud mother fucker she sure does cry quietly. "Its not your fault" I say in an attempt to comfort him. " I couldn't protect her.. it's my fault" Jim says softly in between sobs. "You had no power you couldn't stop that asshole from getting into that car. You had no idea that that would happen its not your fault hyung" I say firmly getting my point across.
All of the sudden I hear Jimin scream Jiae as I bolt towards her I expect the worst. Instead I see the little fire ball that I fell in love with all those years ago. I cant had back the tears anymore.
As she talks to the other members and her family. I hear her ask for me. Her scratchy raspy voice calls out for me...its like music to my ears. Jimin and tae move to reveal me goddammit shez never supposed to see me like this. "Come here" her voice is so sweet:). As I shuffle towards her her eyes start to water. I swore I would never make her cry. I kneel next to her and hold her small hand...
"Hi" I say nervously " hi" she says softly
"Jiae" I managed to blurt out
"No dont say anything" she says
"No I need to say this" I say firmly
"Trust me you'll want to her this" Taehyung interrupts hes awfully good at that.
"Tae shut up this is my confession" I say sarcastically
"Confession?" She asks in confusion.

"Jiae Esther Alvarez-Kim...I love you. I've loved you since you first walked into the big hit building. Wearing that cute little blue skirt with you hair in those cute braids. I love that you put up with me and my weirdness. I love the way you smile and laugh. I love the way you play with your hair"
"Thx she learned from the best" jimin adds smugly
I just roll my eyes at him
" I love everything about you. I love all your flaws not that you have any cause frankly babygirl you're perfect. I want to marry you. I want you to be the mother of my children. I want to grow old with you I want to be with you for the rest of my life"
"I love you Jiae kim"
Shes in shock I can tell what if she doesn't feel the same what did I just do. I cant bear to look at her. I now my head at my queen looking at my shaking hands.
When suddenly....
"I love you too namjoon...I always have"

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To be continued;)