"Listen, if you don't wanna talk to me, then I'll talk to you."
It was 6:35 on my watch when I met him by the rusty gate of their neighbor's entrance. I've almost forgotten how the place looked after almost a month of not being able to visit because of work loads.
"I told you to wait." His voice, it was still the same. That husky sound that makes you think he's got so much air stocked in his lungs that you hear gush of them coming out with every word he says.
"You said I should wait until you're ready to talk. You didn't say I'd have to wait until "I" can talk."
I was obviously trying to make sense about my coming. I knew all the rules. He said wait. But how long?
"Five years? Four months? Weeks? What? That unsure?"
Everything was almost blurry then, like I've just sunk my self in my own pool. The sight of their house right behind their neighbor's looked soaked in a bubble of liquid. My eyes were holding out the tears. And I was just in the struggle not to let them drop and forget my words.
"Listen. If you really can't talk now, then just listen." I mustered all the courage I had left standing right in front of him. "I don't know how to wait." And my words sounded silly. "I...I don't know how, because I don't even know how long I'm supposed to."
He looked away from me. He was beginning to breathe heavily. Like how I see him do when we used to try to resolve troubles in our heavy hearts. He was hurting. I can see it.
"I've seen this in movies. One stays away, and the other waits. And then they let time pass. If they find each other again, it's destiny. If not, then..." I couldn't get the nerve to complete the line. I just thought it was a silly idea.
"I'm not giving up yet, you see." He started looking back at me. That time he looked totally soaked in a bubble of liquid in my sight. "But please, make up your mind."
My tears finally fell.
"Just tell me you don't need me in your life anymore. And I'll be gone." I said each word in between sobs. I was almost out of breath in saying them no matter how short they were. My tears were heavily blocking my sight of him.
"Please don't tell me to do the infinite wait. Because if you do..." I wiped off my tears and mustered to breathe deep to make my words clear.
I looked straight at him. He was clear as daylight. His face looked brighter than the last time I saw him. How long has it been? I wondered. He looked at me intensely, studying my face, waiting for the last words I would say.
"Because if you do," I continued, "you know I will."
For a moment, we were both silent. The cuckoos of the roosters from the neighborhood, the tingling of plates against spoons of those helping themselves with breakfast, served as soundtrack for our early nuisance. I waited. Even at that moment, I was still bound to wait.
I lowered my head. I could see it was almost 7 when I glanced at my watch. He pulled his hair back and crumpled what he could grip on his nape, and closed his eyes. He stood firmly then breathed deep.
I looked up to see his eyes. He looked away.
He moved.
He walked past me.
I heard him give the peddler his direction.
I heard the tires screech.
I heard the sound fade.
I wanted to bend.
But I signaled another peddler and headed home.
