I was her and she was me

...

I think I'm happy or am I'm just high?
cuz when I come down
i feel like Its smoke, or drown
everything is overwhelming
in my mind there is yelling
the girl I used to be
she's begging me

to get up
to get out
to give a fuck

she can shout
she can beg
I don't care what's she's talking about
I'm not her anymore
she just in my head.

I just wanna lay on the floor
I don't wanna do this anymore
but I have no where to go
so I put on a show
keep acting like I'm happy
but I'm getting snappy
getting irritated
trying to keep her gated
why can't she just be quite
for one damn night, shit!

so I grab a lighter and take a hit
I feel better,  just a bit
then I remember that pill
that blue one I left on the windowsill
It's not one to kill
It's to make my thoughts still

i hate the way she acts
I was her and she was me, way back.

a cold hearted bitch
who never saw a problem with how'd she act.
the must've been a glitch
cuz she thought she was the good guy can you imagine that?

she fucked over everyone
as long as she got what she wanted
she was never haunted
by the things she's done

and by some trick of luck
I started giving a fuck
the things I've seen
and the things I've done
makes me wanna scream
but to her it was fun

it's fucking disgusting
so I locked her away
and I know that day
I lost part of myself and ended up hurting.

but I'd rather hurt and hate my life
do the same thing everyday
I won't even try
Cuz that's better than before.
No one bagging on my door.
No drama or attitudes
And no more random dudes

no matter how many times she says I'm sorry
or trys to change the story
ill make her fade
more and more in anyway
with drinks and drugs
the less she bugs

and the day she's finally fucking gone
I'm so fucking ready to move on