Dear diary,
3:15 a.m
Where should I begin. I've seen those faces like a million times. In every aspect possible weather it's love, anger, pain or sorrow but this time it was something different something very heartening. Yesterday was my 18th birthday. I was sure there's gonna be a family reunion...well relatives reunion because I don't have any biological family now. It was supposed to be a surprise but I guess surprises don't surprise me anymore untill they gave me a photo collage, it has Polaroids from my childhood to this very day. And by only one glance I was flashing back and before I even knew a smile was creeping it's way to my lips followed by the tears. And for the first time in a long time I wasn't pretending, I wasn't faking happiness. It gave me the hope that I'm capable of coming out from this haunting, silent and dark state of mind.
The collage showed me that the signs of my birth were absent like I couldn't make it and all of a sudden beyond every doubt... I came. Polaroids reminded me that I was very weak, it was a miracle that I made it without... dying. Pictures from kindergarten to my senior school year, it was quite a journey more like a rollercoaster ride but hey isn't it pretty much what life is all about. The ebb and flow.
As a matter of fact I don't like gifts much but when they're so thoughtful they are not gifts anymore. They are a piece of the soul of those who've made the efforts by caring, loving and cherishing. I don't know how they got the idea. Maybe my stubborn attitude, maybe my shyness or lack of participation but this have given me so much happiness like I used to have when my parents were alive. This piece that I'm gonna carry with myself ensures me that no matter wherever I am, happy or sad. when the time is tough because I know it will be it's gonna remind me I'm not alone. I have people by my side. Always and forever.
A month from now I'm going to start my college and I'm both excited and nervous about it. So many experiences are laying ahead of me. I know some will be memorable some will be terrible but I've figured I will be alright even with my weirdo persona because I know that I'm not alone and I'm forever grateful for every person that I've left with after the terrible accident. So I'm gonna do them a favour and write as much as I can to show them that they mean the world to me. And eventually I will give this diary before leaving for college so that they will know that they also have a piece of my soul with them.
