Behind The Smile (sequel to Behind The Spotlight)

Chapter 1 --Break is Over--

I'm sitting in the backseat of Davis' car. Davis is driving and Jacquie is in the passenger seat. We are on our way to the studio. It's been two weeks since The Next Step won Regionals. Emily and Michelle gave us a two-week break but now it's time to start training for Nationals. I'm really happy that we're going to start working again because I don't like sitting around doing nothing. It gives me too much time to think about things. Things I don't want to think about anymore, but of course, that's not what the universe thinks of it.

My break started with a trip to my house. April called Avery, because I've still been staying with Davis and Jacquie, and she told her that I could pick up some stuff from my house if I wanted to. Well, I didn't really want to but Davis insisted on it. I still don't know why though. So, Avery took Davis and I over to the house I once lived in with my father. When we arrived, I mentally prepared myself for seeing where I grew up, and reliving all the pain I had to endure in that house. Once we walked inside, Davis and Avery were shocked. There was still garbage, empty bottles and broken glass everywhere. I took them up to my bedroom and they were even more shocked. They both looked around in disbelief. I can't blame them though. This is a junkyard compared to their house. My room only consisted of an old wooden closet I used to hide in, some blankets and a mattress laying on the floor. The rest of my room is filled with papers. Papers I once wrote horrifying things on. "I can't believe you had to live like this", I could hear Davis say in shock. "I was used to it", I answered her before I walked over to the pail of blankets and dug through it. "Here we go", I say as I pulled out a blue bunny. "Oh, is that Blueberry?", Davis asked me. I just nodded my head and walked back over to the door of my room. "Don't you need anything else?", she asked me. "I don't really have anything else." "What about these?", Davis asked as she picked up some of the papers laying on the floor all around the room. "They're not important. They're just thoughts. I liked writing them down. It helped me to get through everything. I don't really want to be reminded of that anymore", I told her and she nodded her head understandingly. I walked out of the room, whishing I would never have to see it again, ever. I just walked out of the house and got into the car as fast as I could, ready to get away from this horrible place. But again, the universe was not really on my side. Out of nowhere, I saw April's car pulling up the driveway. Nobody told me that she would be there. Davis and Avery walked outside and greeted April friendly. I, on the other hand, wasn't moving a single muscle. I was glued to the car seat. I really didn't want to deal with all of that. I wanted to get out of there as fast as possible. Suddenly, I was pulled out of my thoughts by someone opening the car door. "Blakely, can you come back out for just a second?", Avery had asked me. I didn't want to be disrespectful and make a whole scene out of it so I just got out of the car. "Hi, Blakely. It's good to see you again. How are you?", April asked me. "I'm good", is all I replied to her. "Did you find everything you need?", she asked, looking at Blueberry I was holding in my hand. I just nodded and tried to fake a smile before I asked a question everyone was shocked to hear. "How is my father doing?" I could see everyone's mouth drop open at what I had just asked. "Uhm... He is doing fine I think, I don't really know. I thought you wouldn't want anything to do with him anymore so I told the judge that was handling your case to take you out of the occasion", April told me. "What does that mean?" "It means that I didn't get information on how things ended with your father. I also don't get informed about what's happening to him now. I'm just here for you, but if you want, I can always find out how he's doing?", she kind of asked me. "I would really like that", I answered her silently before Davis jumped in. "Wow, back up a minute. Why? Why would you want to know how that monster is doing?", she asked me shocked and almost screaming. "Because he's still my father. And for a long time, he was the only person I had." "But why do you still care? You shouldn't. You should be angry, furious, and you should be happy that he's out of your life. He put you through hell and you still want to know how he's doing? I don't understand." "That's because you didn't go through what I went through. If you don't understand, that's fine but don't tell me what I can or can not do. Don't tell me how to feel because you have no idea what is going on inside of me", I scream at Davis and I can see her being taken aback by my sudden outburst. "Okay girls, calm down, please. This is difficult for the both of you. You don't have to understand each other's point of view, but just try to be supportive of each other's choices", April told us and we both just looked down embarrassed by the argument we had. "Yeah, she's right. I'm sorry. If you want to know how your dad is, that's fine", Davis told me and I gave her a little smile. "Okay then I'll see what I can find out and I'll get back to you as soon as I know something", April said to me and I thanked her politely. "Can we go now? Please?", I asked all of them, kind of desperate to leave this horrible place. "Of course", Avery answered sweetly before I breathe a sigh of relief. "Well, I'll get back to you as soon as I can", April said before we all got into the car. We drove back home and I immediately went up to my room. Well, not exactly 'my' room. After Regionals, Avery told me that I could turn the guest room into my own bedroom, but I didn't feel safe there. I still don't know why. I'm used to being alone so that was not the problem. I just didn't feel comfortable there. So, every night I ended up in Davis' room. I would run in there crying in the middle of the night, and then she would take me in her arms and I would fall asleep next to her. It went on like that for about a week before Davis decided it would be best if I just moved into her room altogether. I was sceptical at first. You know, I didn't want to be more of a burden than I already was but at the same time, it was so much better for me. I felt safe and comfortable with her and I've never slept as good as now.