we are flowers {cake au}

chapter 5; he's like the moon, but better (september 16-17)

i know the world's a broken bone
but melt your headaches call it home
hey moon, please forget to fall down
hey moon, don't you go down.
northern downpour; panic! at the disco

✿ luke ✿
calum is intriguing. he is eye catching. he is flashy, but in a sort of subtle way and luke really wants to figure him out. but he also looks mad. or sad. or upset in general? luke's not good at reading people.

they're laying on the weird couch-bed thing in calum's house and luke doesn't remember ever seeing it come out of the moving van-not even bits and pieces-but calum swears he had it in cali.

"i like this thing," luke says quietly.

calum grins softly- really, really softly and says, "you do?"

luke nods.

"good."

the pair have their arms wound around each other, luke's sort of strangling calum, but calum doesn't seem to mind but calum has his hands on the small of luke's back. he's tracing small patterns, and while it seems to be a literary cliché, luke finds it quite wonderful.

they are looking at each other's faces, and luke's not sure what on his face calum is looking at but luke is looking at calum's eyes. they are shockingly dark, and the dark colour is potent and warms luke's heart. he swears they get darker every time he looks at them. (which is often.) his irises hold some thing a little more than the dark black-brown colour, but luke can't pinpoint it. pain, some thing like that. but hopefully not.

"it's so prosaic and cheesy and i know it, this is so stupid- i wish the night would last longer than it does," calum admits and his cheeks have been slightly dusted with a cute pink colour.

"it's not completely cheesy. at least you're not saying 'forever.' that would be dull," luke replies. "you.. i- y-..? i agree. th- the night won't last long enough."

"what's- what's your favourite part about gardening?" calum asks. "i'm sorry. i'm just really sort of into it."

"i can connect with mum. she's dead, but that can't restrict us from some thing like that."

"what was your mom like?"

"gorgeous. really gorgeous, and when she got things, she didn't just understand them. she felt them, too. she felt them, and she took them in her heart, and she locked it. she didn't want any thing bad to happen to me. she was, uh.. schizophrenic, as well."

"she sounds lovely."

"-suicide. she took her own life. it took a lot for me not to take mine, too. i was angry."

"i'm glad you didn't."

luke gives calum a small smile and sighs contentedly but then he's hit by an extreme amount of anxiety. he chews on the inside of his cheek with his pointy incisors and looks away from calum and down at his own chest instead.

stop your infatuation now, luke, and it won't end up bad like every thing else.

luke cannot stop the bad voices in his head from talking to him, but he can disregard what they're saying.

not every thing is bad, he reminds himself. calum is not bad. you are not bad.

it's some thing he's never gotten away from. some thing that he got into before he was with his mom. and no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't get them to shut up. but calum, calum fabricates a whole new motivation. it's no longer just himself, it's calum, too, and that's enough to get out.

the low place luke was in-he's not sure if it's even correlatable to the utopia calum is bringing him to. luke can't fathom how a person can go from death and destruction and despair to health and high-spiritedness and healing because of a tan, teenaged, tattooed boy.

he loved living life with his mother, but a paranoid woman taking five different prescription medicines does not pose an ideal guardian.

"it's september and september is always the hardest month," luke tells calum.

calum chuckles a little. "do you want me to wake you up when september ends?"

"a plus pun, cal, but no. i'd prefer to be awake, if you're gonna hang around." luke clears his throat. "she died in september. plus, september is the end, not much lives long after september."

calum stares at luke. he has an a-ha moment and says, "the flowers, you mean. can't you grow some indoors?"

"mom was so against indoor flowers," luke laughs a small laugh. he feels so self-deprecating, wallowing in his mother's shadow, but he's used to it by now. "it's been a year, calum. on the eighteenth."

"i'll be here-always, babe."

luke just hugs him closer because he's a good thing and luke wants to keep him forever. and although he's the taller of the two, he's the small spoon (the small spoon who's cuddling the shit out of his big spoon) and he has to tilt his head up to look at calum.

luke decides he's too lazy for the extra strain on his neck to he pulls calum's head down and he presses his lips to calum's. the initial action isn't very soft, but every thing following is-it's sweet and lazy. luke's fairly certain he falls asleep with his mouth on calum's mouth.

* * *

luke wakes up and there is a warm body stuck to him-calum-and every evil thing had disappeared and they're just good.

· 。* 。· 。* 。·

hi this ones a little shorter but there are great things coming verrrry soon im excited :-)

thanks for even just reading this because i kind of feel like it's shit but oh well

-m