Welcome back tourist to the land of Potatoes. If you're a return visitor, then you will hopefully be used to this twisted and confusing Spud-paradise.
If you are new, let me me just reassure you that we are fully aware here, that our patron Saint - St JK Rowling - is the full owner and creator of everything Harry Potter related. This is only a feeble attempt to entertain and give the author something to do, that isn't eat - sleep - work - repeat.
Side note - infrastructure updates have happened in the land of Spuds. So the writing, narrative and overall style will be different. Apologies, if this has resulted into a much crappier story then the previous one. Which was hard to achieve, because the first one was dire and that is fully acknowledged.
Also warning - the characters will swear like truckers, violence will be running rampant and overall there will be moments of high derangement.
But would anyone expect anything different from Potato Country?
So, please by all means enjoy yourselves in these carbohydrate streets!
Tourist-Officer Dorcas Hardcastle.
(Potato-farmer of the 5th order and lead french-fry beauty pageant judge)
UPDATE:
It has come to our attention that the individual known as JK Rowling, has participated in some highly questionable behaviour and has released statements, which do NOT agree and represent the views of the land of Potatoes. Therefore the Ministry of Spuds and Church of the Fry, has decided to revoke her Sainthood. While it is acknowledged that the original universe of Potter has its origins within her mind, the question does exist is it possible to separate and appreciate the art separately from the artist? The Potter universe doesn't introduce entirely new concepts to the literature, folklore and history of magic and fantasy. The ministry of the Potato-Arts believes that the world of Potter has contributed many amazing, beautiful and inspirational ideas to millions of people, and that can be celebrated.
However, yet again - we would like to make it very clear that the personal views of JK Rowling are hers alone, and no one in the kingdom of Spuds shares them.
All positive identities, individuals and lifestyles, are celebrated and cherished in our kingdom. The citizens of Spud, are allies of all and here, ALL are welcome. The Church of Fry also has in its top mission statement - that the most important thing in the world is Love. In a world filled with hatred, we must all be beacons of love, acceptance, patience and empowerment. We will always pray for those who are lost and filled with fear, and hope that one day compassion and knowledge can replace those forlorn former attributes.
Thank you for taking them time to read this,
The President of Potato Land,
Henri Hjalmar Lukas Kelly Von de Braun (8th of his name)
YOU ARE READING
Harry Potter and the Prisoners of the Phoenix's Goblet
FanfictionYears have passed since the events of "Chamber of Secrets" and finally Harry has settled into life at Hogwarts. He has finally made friends and been able to enjoy uneventful peace. Despite still using language that would make a pirate blush, the ner...
