Addicted To You (TO BE PUBLISHED)

24

Today is his last day.

I am excited and bummed at the same time. I love him, and I know I will miss him again, but the longer he stayed, the longer my conscious kept eating me alive to tell him everything else I missed out to tell last night.

"I'm going to miss you." He tells me while we lay in bed and plays with my hair. It's a perfect Sunday during the fall season. Windy and sunny, with a tint of coolness. I left my bedroom doors open to get in some fresh air, along with my windows. He laughed at my horrible view, I mentioned to him one day, I would have the whole city as my view.

I look into his green eyes catching a good glimpse of them. "I genuinely am sorry for what happened last night. I really wanted to tell you sooner. It ate me alive for a month."

"It's fine. I had a feeling something was different with you. I noticed how he would look at you, and his remarks weren't sitting right with me. I can't believe he had the balls to kiss you."

"Yeah," I say, feeling even worse about myself. I can't let this carry on. "Are you sure you want to forgive me?"

"I'm sure. I already told you it's fine." He is way calmer about this than I expected, and it worries me.

"What If I told you I kissed him back."

"Did you?" I didn't know what to say. I twisted my fingers nervously and got up from on top of him. "You know what. Don't answer that. I think I'll be better off not hearing you say it. This is what I was worried about."

"It won't happen again," I tell him.

"God, Amelia. I certainly hope not." He took a sigh of ease. "How would you take it if maybe we were to take a break? I know it's not ideal in our books, but there's obviously something that isn't making you happy."

"I am happy...I,"

"Amelia," He interrupts. "You're not. I am not saying we are done, but we have time to figure ourselves out while holding on to our relationship."

"That's confusing." I shake my head.

"So is, you willingly wanting to kiss an idiot." He sighs. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said it like that. Let's enjoy these last few moments together, ok?"

His words worried me. An didn't give me the confirmation I needed. Does this mean we are together or not together? I didn't want to sit in the conversation between Chase and me. So, I brought up Ellie.

"On the bright side, you may see Ellie soon." He mentions.

"I can't wait. I wonder what she looks like now. Or how she turned out to be. I really do miss her."

He pulls me in, placing his chin on my head. "I know you do." I can feel the vibration of his voice. "She misses you too. She talks a lot about you and still has all the letters you sent her."

But then I remember, "She never wrote back."

I stared blankly at my decor wall with the fake plant and a picture of me and her. It was when we went to the Bahamas with my mom and Claudia. We were only in middle school.

"She said she couldn't. Her father blocked mail going out of London."

I hate Ritchie; Ellie was always with us most of the time because she did not want to be home. She hated being in the same house with her dad and mom. She always felt like she was not wanted and they weren't excellent parents. My uncle is like my father, always giving up on people who care about them the most. I wish I knew why they sent her away.

"Promise me, when you get home, you let me talk to her." As we lock fingers, I smile at him.

"And you promise me you won't lie to me anymore." He tilts his head. "If that guy is messing with you still, then tell me. And I'll take care of it for you."