only in my head

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Only in my head do I think about
how I couldn't get up this morning
Only in my head do I wonder what that means
Only in my head do I cry
Only in my head do I scream and hurt
Only in my head can I let the smile fall
Only in my head do I stare out of dirty windows, uncaring, unapologetic of my sadness
Outside I am laughing, smiling, talking
Outside I am understanding and happy and
alive
Outside I am a liar

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