After Brittany's announced death, Clarence has no choice but to move on. He locks in on business while taking care of his kids not knowing the old love of his life is still breathing the same air he breaths.
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"Yo tell Blaz this gon be fye!" I looked over my shoot for my next branding launch and it looked good overall, I have a good team.
"Daddyy daddyyy, I got a star today! The teacher said I had the best book showcasing!" Lamara came in, all happy
When I got out the game, I put all the kids in school. I put Legend and Lamara in the same private school and Aiyden goes to a private daycare.
I pay a lot of money for them to go to private school because I want the best for my children. I want to give them everything I've never had the opportunity to have.
"That's good baby, I told you green, eggs and ham gets the people everything time and that cute face your daddy gave you..."
"Clarence no, my baby is smart either way..." Queen came in here with all smiles and I instantly felt guilt about the way I yelled at her the night of my birthday
When Brittany's involved my feelings are never in the right place towards another female. I have to realize Queen has been by my side no matter what and she stuck with me trying to build me into a better man for her.
She accepts my kids just as well as I accept hers and for that I have to appreciate this woman. She stepped up when I had no one. I let the kids play in my office as I pulled her to the side to talk to her.
"Listen... I know my birthday was a real bitch move"
"Babe—" she tried to interrupt
"Let me finish..."
"You didn't deserve the way I spoke to you, I know we've been working at this for some time now and I'm really a work in progress..."
"Thank you for loving me, my kids and loving us. I'm going to be better for you baby." Tears we're running down her eyes and I wiped them
"You have to show me Clarence you can't say this and that and then when your ex comes into conversation you put all those morals aside."
"I will not continue to be disrespected when all I've ever done is—" she choked up on her tears and I pulled her in
"Is love you, all I've ever done is love you!" She cried in my arms and it truly broke me because I was the reason for her crying
I didn't deserve her and in a way she didn't deserve me. She didn't deserve all the baggage that I came with. Like I said, a work in progress.
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"Are you okay? I know you must be tired from your trip.." Dru said as he slipped on his clothes as I was totally zoned out in my thoughts
"I'm definitely tired but maybe tonight will make me feel better..." I straddled him and he kissed me
"I'm surprised you agreed on going out... imma show you some shit I hope you can hang..." he chuckled
"I can definitely hang sweetie..."
"We'll see about that..." he said kissing my lips once more as he left out of the room
I got up and found myself looking in the bathroom mirror. I didn't know who this person was and I noticed how much I changed in this time.
I slid down the counter of the bathroom and I poured my eyes out tears. I couldn't stop my heart from hurting I needed to be with my family and deep down I knew that could never happen.
After gathering myself I decided to take some of my day to pamper myself. I let my natural hair hang as I ran me a bath adding bath bombs and some scented rose petals.
I took the time to apply a face mask as I socked and exfoliated in my bath. I found that I was relaxed, my mind slowed from the constant race that blazed through my head.
After a long bath I showered leaving my hair soaking wet. I moisturized my hair putting it up into a tight bun then after slipping in clothes I headed to the nearest nail salon.
I have a date with Dru tonight and I wanted to really try with him. Dru is an amazing guy that is trying to bring out a different side of me and I wanted to allow him to open me up, maybe that's what I needed to start my life here.
The life I one had in Atlanta no longer existed and could simply not be restored. My kids would grow without my love and Clarence will resent the person I am now.
"What you want me to do with it baby?" My hair stylist Julia asked
"Just work your magic please..." I sat in the chair as she worked on my hair
After finishing I expressed how much I loved it, I loved how natural it looked. I decided to stop at Chic-Fil-a I promised myself that i was trying to become a vegetarian but I can have a cheat day, I need it.
Home never felt like a true home but I tried my best to manage.
"you look so beautiful K..."
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"Just wish I felt like it..." I got up and moved into the bathroom looking over myself til my phone started to buzz
Incoming call from 404-623-4009
I frowned upon the Atlanta number, maybe it was Jalisa making sure I honestly never came back.
