Dear Diary (just started still editing)

Background

This isn't what the layout of every other chapter will look like but this is just some quick background information to get you caught up so that you know what I'm talking about throughout the story.

When I was only a few month old I was adopted from Perm Russia by the most amazing people in existence, I usually don't tell people that because It changes how they perceive my relationship with the my parents (the people that adopted me). Most people will say things like "do you know your parents?" or "Do you remember your parents?" and shit like that pisses me off, because the people that birthed my, in my eyes, are NOT my parents and they were NEVER and will NEVER be my parents. They are irrelevant to my life and intend to keep it that way. Elizabeth Cohen and Michael Talley are the people who adopted me and they are my parents, not the Russian people. Now that I've clarified that, let's move on. I was brought back to New York City, Brooklyn to be more exact, and I lived and grew up there. My life was so incredibly perfect, I started gymnastics at a very young age, I started competing when I was eight or nine and my friends and coaches at our gym were like family to me, we were a team and no matter what we stuck together. I hung out with my two best-friends Olivia Kevorkian and Niko Smart. We did everything together, from holidays to family vacations we always did it together, we would fight like siblings and love like siblings. We basically lived at each others houses. My family was especially close to Olivia's because our parents were close friends, Olivia's mom Kim Kevorkian and her dad Fred Kevorkian were like my second parents. My school friends were amazing as well, we would take the bus home together and walk to get food together and don't even get me started on how insane test prep was. It was the peak of crackhead hours in there lmao and I'm pretty sure we drove to teacher to insanity. 

Anyway that was my life in New York City, it was pretty much perfect, until my parents both died to cancer when I was 12. I remember the night my uncle and my best-friends mom came over to my house to tell me they were going to pass away soon, I remember Kim holding me against her chest crying and me saying "What will I do" and my uncle telling me that I was going to live with them in bum-fuck San Fransisco California. I just started crying even harder, I didn't want to move all the way across the country, especially not with people I hardly knew. Once I moved out to San Fransisco life wasn't too bad although I had to repeat 7th grade because of the move and everything that was going on. I also quit the sport that I loved, gymnastics. I had been doing it basically all my life and competing with my team was the one thing that hurt the most to give up, but I hated all the gyms out there and I didn't enjoy it as much, not as much as I did with my best-friends. I still regret quitting to this day but now I'm too old to start it again, It would just be too difficult to get back to where I was before with the sport so right now I think I'm going to try out for volleyball or something like that idrk. 

Things started to get a little bit more difficult in eighth grade. I started to fight with my aunt and uncle more and got into some stupid drama at school. I really liked this guy named Dylan and oh god what the fuck was wrong with me. (PSA: If ur from my middle school don't show this to him lmfao). Anyway he was pretty much one of my best-friends and I started to like him long story short my friend Jolie started dating him knowing I liked him and once they broke up I dated him to be bitchy and realized I was wrong for that and then when we broke up Jojo started dating him again then they broke up I dated him and that went on for a while. It was a vicious cycle of on and off "man-stealing". So once Jojo and I realized we were being stupid to continue fighting over some guy who was pretty much the most toxic thing in our lives we turned on him and talked hella shit lmao and eventually everyone hated him and I know I should feel bad that he ended up with no friends but I really really don't because he deserved that shit. Plus he cheated on Jolie and I multiple times with other people soo yeah fuck him ya feel. 

Throughout that whole time period I developed depression and It was more like an aching feeling in my chest that was filling me with sadness and I just hated everything and lowkey wanted to die for a lil bit there but I'd rather not bring that up in detail. But basically I started to self harm around then and It's been an on and off thing since. I don't think I have depression currently, in fact I'm pretty happy right now and I actually like being alive. Going into ninth grade we moved to Clayton California to be able to go to the high school I'm in and that summer I spent most of my time with a family friend who soon enough became my best-friend and pretty much my sister. She was at our house for majority of the entire summer and we spent so much time together. Much love to her, her name is Meredith btw but I think I might change her name for the diary entires just because she'll be in here a lot. But for the first week of summer or so we went up to camp Mather and I met some amazing friends and some people that live really near me and go to some local high schools one of which, is the one I go to. There was Robby, Hugo, Neal, Sophie, RJ and Thomas. Robby was really nice but he started to like me and that kind of freaked me out so I backed off a little and we sort of drifted apart. Hugo was also super nice and he helped me with the whole Robby situation it was kinda funny lol. Neal and Sophie were both family friends but also great friends and people to hangout with, they're both really athletic and energetic so it's a little exhausting hanging out with them for day but I still love em. And then there's RJ and Thomas, they're best-friends and they're the ones that live near me. RJ goes to Clayton Valley high school and Thomas goes to Northgate as well, I instantly fell for Thomas and boy that was a mistake, but I tell you about that In the next chapter.

Aight so that's most of the background info on my life, I know it's probably kinda boring but In order for you to understand my entries u needed this soo thank you for reading bye!