I don't think I can take another step forward in life because at this point im basically just existing. You don't realize how much you appreciate the lack of consciousness that sleep brings until being awake for too long makes the mere thought of escaping into that void comforting, blissful even. 'Everyone hates you' is the constant thought abusing your inner dialogue. The feeling of being resented And desperate is no stranger to you.
No one knows the real you because just barely opening up releases the floodgates of all your insecurities and it scares them away. Misery loves company.
Yes, its true, and it labels me as someone who is toxic. Because I am. But despite all this, the craving for human contact and connection is still so real, so very much there and that's something no one will ever understand. Misery does love company. Depression is one of those things that anyone who doesn't have it will never validate it, because they will never fully understand it.
