I always wake up with this fear that I'm going to be a complete failure in life. My entire life has been filled with negative surprises. My father died when I was 14 yeas old, ever since then my mother has been so distant to even realize that I exist. I grew up without real parent figure almost my entire childhood. I've been looking for anyone to care, anyone to show me love, but that's kind of hard to do when you live in downtown L.A. and nobody even notices that you are a person.
I had to get ready for work at the old music store just down the street from my not so fancy appartment. I don't exactly have the money for anything nice. I left my apartment 15 minutes late but I still decided to walk. I walked past the building where the mural use to be and almost got teary eyed. The day the mural was gone was absolutley the saddest day of my life. I would go there to calm down, to relieve stress, to do anything really. It was a safe place, and I've been lost without it.
I could aleady hear Jimmy yelling in the back of the store when I walked into work.
"Where have you been Electra?"
"Calm down, Its only been like twenty minutes. I just woke up late," This is probably the biggest lie ever, I woke up this morning at 4:00, I just couldn't move because of my thought. My thoughts of never finding happiness.
"Just get to work, were short staffed, Jamie quit this morning. She said something about a Foster The People concert during her shift tonight and apparently thats so much more important," Jimmy didn't sound pleased with her choice. Wait, did he just say Foster The People concert? "That means I'm going to need you to work tonight okay?"
"Wait what?" There is no way I am missing this concert. I have been in love with this band for years. They got me through so much during my years of being absolutley alone. At least now I'm alone without a so called mother living in the house with me. "I can't, Jimmy please you can't make me work this."
"Look, it's either you work, or you're fired. Your choice,' I can't believe this is happening. I think about my choices and it seems like working is the better choice. It's too difficult to get a job right now and I desperately need the money. When I don't reply, Jimmy walks away and goes to the back of the store again. I flip the sign to open and go throughout my day as the cashier to some dusty, old music store that nobody even cares about.
Just before closing, I see a car pull into the parking lot. "You've got to be kidding me," I say under my breath. It's already so late and I think about locking the door anyway but the person is already out of their car. I walk back behind the counter and begin to organize the glass shelves. I don't give the guest much attention when I hear the bell go off showing that they have entered the store. I occasionally look through the glass as they walk around the store and then all I see are their legs right in front of me. "Here we go," I mumble before standing up, "Hi welcome to Bo-- Oh my god."
"Well that's not a nice way to treat the costumer," He says. He as in Mark Foster. Mark Foster is literally standing right in front of me.
"Oh I'm sorry you just um I'm a fan," Im in complete shock. I don't think I can breathe.
"Yeah I can tell," He points to my shirt and I mentally curse myself for wearing my shirt with the torches album cover on it. I can feel the heat in my cheeks. "Hey it's fine. I'm just another guy looking to buy music," His smile makes my heart melt. I take the record he's holding in his hand and ring it up, "What's your name? I don't see a name tag," His laugh makes my eyes flutter.
"Electra, my name is Electra Rose," I don't know why I just gave him my middle name, my nerves are getting the best of me.
"Well Electra Rose, I'll see you around," He winks and flashes a smile right before sliding me a piece of paper and leaving the store with his record. When I open up the paper I see his number and a note saying "call me, Electra Rose."
