The First Step

Leap of Faith

Words from the past can break you. I knew that as I sat at my desk staring at words that poured my heart and soul onto the white screen in front of me. Tears stung my eyes as my finger hovered over the key that would send those words...Those pieces of my soul out to the ones who chose my fate. I simply had to take the first step and push the button.

'You're worthless,' my stepmother's voice rang through my head, 'You'll never amount to anything.'

I closed my eyes as her face filled my vision. Her dark eyes were wide enough they seemed to almost pop out of their sockets. Her nostrils flared. Her upper lip curled in disgust as she continued to push me further and further down into the darkness of self-doubt.

Somewhere deep down I knew I shouldn't listen to her. I shouldn't believe a word she said but there was always that worry that she was right, and I was worthless, and my dreams would never be realized. After all, there was a vast possibility that my dreams would never happen. Most people who chose the path I was choosing received little to no success.

My body trembled and my eyes shot open to find my finger still hovering over the key. My heart jumped in my chest as a thin sheen of sweat broke out over my body.

My eyes rose from the screen meeting my reflection shining over words that meant the world to me as I began to whisper the words I had whispered a million times over my life but this time I needed to listen.

"You are worthy," I whispered as tears stung my eyes, "You can do this. Take the leap of faith."

I licked my lips, glancing from the screen to the button as my stepmother's words continued to echo through my mind becoming louder but I knew they would as my finger hovered over that button.

My eyes rose once more to my reflection and I took a deep breath, "The worst they can say is no," I whispered, knowing it may hurt but at least I tried. I had never tried before. It would still be a step in the right direction.

I gazed into the eyes in my reflection and nodded because I was going to cast off the girl I once was...One who listened to my stepmother's insults and believed them. I kept my eyes on that reflection and lowered my finger, pressing the smooth plastic button.

A moment of panic shook through me as I realized I couldn't take back what I had done but then, relief unlike any I had ever experienced settled over me as I gazed into the eyes of my reflection. A gasp escaped me because though the reflection remained the same, I was different.

Words from the past can break you but actions can heal you. All anyone has to do is take the first step.