Endlessly... (One-Shot Story)

Behind everything...

"Dont let me go, I dont want to be with him, I will not marry him!"

"Please dont make this so hard for me, its for your own good~"

"Take her!" my parents ordered, then someone grab me and forced me to get inside the car.

Pity me, I cant even help myself to escape...

Its so sudden yet it feels like a decade had past~

Reminiscing the day, you just LET ME GO..

Its so painful, the cruelest one maybe.. I thought you love me as what you promise but its just a promise, not even granted.

I never loved him, not even infatuation..

Since the day we got married, everything changed.. His love for me burdens with obssession, I cant help but.... cry~ I know he knows that I hate him. He's used to it yet he never let me go unlike you did.

One night things changed again, he started taking different women at home plus his droven out of his senses, his always drunk. Not minding that I'm just lying in bed next door, while they are doing things that I dont want to think anymore.. I just assumed nothing happens, just cried and sleep~

He did that for the whole years I'm with him, yet he never let me go.. I wanted to leave him coz I cant take it anymore.. Whenever he doesn't have someone to bring at home, he will just grab and drag me to bed. Uncovering everything and do whatever he wants, I'm used to it but.... I'm hurting. For everytime I refused to, he'll just slap me hard and pull my hair.. Yes, I was a bothered wife. Bruises covered my body. I tried to call for help yet when I was about to, they'll just reject me. No one even listens or take concerned, I was alone.

I rejected him one night, he didnt do anything but just left. He was gone for 2 weeks, no calls or even texts. I was worried, truly I did and I dont know where he is, I got even sick during those days knowing... I'm 4 months pregnant~ Its my body yet I dont even know there's already a life inside me, worrying about me. That was the first time, someone worries for me and turns out his inside me. My child.

A knock brought me back to my senses, hoping its him. Yes it was him but.... his drunk again, even more I think. His three friends guide him to stand, but he refused it resulting him to fell on the floor. I told his friends that I'll take care of him and bid my thank you and goodbye.

When his friends left, he slowly stand and stared me with his cold eyes. It was so cold that gives me shivers, for now I wont think of anything nor ask him what happened in that 2 weeks, all I just wanted to do now is bring him to our room so he could rest. His features changed, he lost weight, long enough hair, about to grow beard, he looks like a zombie in particular. I know its my fault so I realize if I could pay him back by helping in the best way I can, not forgetting that I must not slip or anything coz I have my baby now.

I took his hands and put it on my shoulders then hug his waist for support but... it turned out the opposite. He drag me against the wall beside me causing my head and back to hurt. It was so painful yet I cannot spill out a word even a sound, sudden blurness in my eyes. He started stripping my clothes and exposing what he wants to expose, caressing it and kissing it. I was half-naked though, my clothes are still on but my skin is showy.

His doing it until he knelt in front of me, wants to do his job there. I wanted to stop him seriously but I cannot move not because his holding me too tight but... I dont feel anything, my hands are numb. My vision is starting to turn...black, I stop when I smell something not so ordinary. I smell...blood. I cant hardly...breath, I'm almost reaching it. Still his there not knowing anything about whats happening. I can feel my back is sweating a lot and the smell of blood is getting worse, I dont know where is it but I'm praying it was not my...baby.

He suddenly stop and look at me for a while, I look at him too and there I saw a sad eyes calling for....love in return. His crying but at the same time, his hands are tightening my legs giving so much effort in clasping it and its hurting me so badly.

I cant take it anymore, I'm gently sliding my back down still against the wall. I was able to took glimpse in my hands seeing... blood, a lot of blood. Now I understand where it came from, I'm thankful its not my baby! I tried to call his name and it took me a minute to successfully did it.

His eyes widen, I saw it a bit. Thanking he's in his self now. I fell onto him and he catch me carefully, I can see him not so clearly but..his crying and calling out my name. That voice, that I miss to hear for so long. I smile a bit, hardly catching my breath. He's saying something but...I cant even hear a thing, my sense of hearing also loosen I think.

At that moment, all I wanted to say to him is my...

"Sorry..." a tear fell on my left eye while I'm slowly reaching his handsome face. A tear drop fell on my chicks, I felt the warm in it. I know its his.

I was so numb not feeling that his hurting too..more than what've feel. He's always there took cared of me, even if I always turned him down. I hated him for a very long time that's why...I'm so sorry for everything that I've done. It was too late, I know but...I surely appreciates every single thing he'd done, and I will always will. I'm loosing everything, my husband, my child, myself. I cant remember everything anymore just that... it went black that moment on.

I loved you for forever, I hated him always. Things can build but doesnt even help me. Thinking that I was the worst person ever existed in the world that brings burden to all the people who came into my life. I'm the worst, definitely I am. Learning that..

Love isnt just like a wish that keeps you dreaming, it is also like life that you must choose if it is worth-living.

"Mama, lets go home!" a little voice saying.

"Will do, baby~" answered by a man's voice.

It was so black that I cant see a thing, but I know their just somewhere there around me. I cant talk, I cant walk. It slapped me that I became more useless than before. I'm hurting again but.. its the reality.

I may be wicked, I may be useless.

I may be numb, I may be existed.

I may be cruel, I may be breathless.

Loving you was so hard but it always gives me courage. You and him was just being true, I might be the witch. If I were to choose who's who and who. Who to love or who I love?

Maybe, I'll choose... no one. For the sake of deciding, for the sake of freedom, for the sake of one-sided love and for the sake of true feelings. Coz whatever it takes and whenever it will be, you, me and him...are just loving endlessly.

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(A/N: WAAAAAAHHHH Sana po nagustuhan niyo, bigla lang po kasing pumasok sa isip ko yan sinulat ko nalang agad bago ko pa makalimutan ng tuluyan ahahaha)

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Arigachuuuu~ :*

@kitagawasakura