Addicted To You (TO BE PUBLISHED)

34

I wake up and find myself on soothing, warm skin. Glancing up, Chase was still rested like a baby. Last night was great. Due to our engagement on campus the other day, we magically started talking more. And last night, he suggested we watch a movie on his 75-inch television. We debated on watching Rocky, which I wasn't a big fan of or The Best Of Me. Safe to say, I won. He watched as I cried at the end when Dawson died just moments after Amanda left the voicemail about her undeniable love for him. I thought maybe Chase was going to tear up when Amanda found out her son's heart donor was Dawsons. Even though he hated the movie, he loved it at the same time.

Then I unexpectedly fell asleep on the couch with him. Nothing transpired between the both of us. We only enjoyed each other's company.

Despite the disagreement we had after the movie, I continue to admire him while he sleeps. He mocked me for saying they were high school sweethearts that rekindled their love after a falling. When he brought up, Nolan and I nearly flipped out.

At least Dawson knows how to tend to Amanda's sexual needs, I thought.

"Why are you staring at me?" He speaks with his eyes still closed; his voice is raspy and a bit dry, but I don't mind.

How did he know I was looking at him? "I'm only admiring you." I giggle.

"That's cute. But creepy." He chuckles.

I playfully roll my eyes and sit up to grab my phone from the coffee table. 
"Oh, crap." I nudge him. "I need you to take me home. I have class. We have class." I correct myself.

"Today isn't Friday." He rolls over and mumbles into the couch cushion.

"It is Friday. Chase, please get up; I don't want to be an hour late." I beg. Eventually, he shuffled his feet to get himself situated and grabbed his keys to the car.

We sat in the car, waiting for the light to turn green. We were only minutes from my apartment and about fifteen minutes from the campus, no thanks to traffic. "You're not still mad about the comment I made last night, are you?" He asked. His hands reach out for mine.

"I'm not. You should know by now my relationship isn't perfect." I tell him. Suddenly I had the urge to ask him a question that wasn't meant for him. "Do you know anything about 'breaks' in relationships?" I ask. 

He laughs, not taking the subject seriously. I stared at him, and he looked back at me, knowing I wasn't joking. "Oh-uh. You guys are still on that break I'm taking." He moves the car when the light turns green and eyes the road. "A break in a relationship is tricky. You're together, but you're separate." He explained. 

"I figured." I sigh. Then thought of another question to ask him. "What does that make us?" I wondered. 

"Considering you're technically still his. It means we're nothing. It's probably best that way anyway." He tells me while brushing his fingers through his hair.

"Right. You only want to fuck me and move on." My choice of words was used out of spite. I hate that we can't just admit to each other what we feel. I have to hide it for Nolan's sake, and he has to hide it for his own sake.

"You know by now, If I wanted to fuck you and move on, I would've." He says.

I lean into him with a cheeky smile. "Does that mean you love me then?" I joke, but in my mind, I wasn't. I know he would never admit it if he did.

He chuckles adorably. "Now, why would you think that nonsense." His posture leaned away from me and towards the door. I ignored his comment and removed myself from the glove box. "Do you love me? Or are you using me to try and have sex with me?" he fills in the empty space between us with a question I cannot answer truthfully.