I'm Fine

.1.

I hated her.

The girl staring back at me wasn't who I wanted to be.
I wiped the mirror and the black lifeless eyes stared back at me, more clearly now.

The tiny chocolate freckles that dusted my cheekbones repulsed me.

why couldn't I have had a fair skin with no blemishes?

Or long eyelashes and more thick eyebrows?My lashes were so short and the eyebrows weren't that much defined to my standard of being considered beautiful.

The round button nose was too small for my liking and I hated how my upper lip was more Fuller than my lower lip.

I had pierced my nose to drag attention away from how small my nose was,it worked.

I usually tried to act positive and be proud of my body but it wasn't easy. It's like I always found a reason to not like myself. If not my face,it would be the flab of fat on my belly,or how my hips weren't round enough to my liking or how my ass was too fat.

"Yoh Moesha are you dead in there or what?We will be late!"My sister's voice startled me out of the judgemental stupor I was in.

"I'm coming Mushiya don't get your panties in a twist!" I shouted back in an irritated voice.

I sighed and with one last look at myself in the mirror,I wrapped myself in a towel and stepped out of the  bathroom while I dried my mane of hair with another towel. Atleast my hair was the most amazing feature I loved about myself.I had a full head of hair which was Raven black.

Even my parents couldn't understand how I ended up with such a mane given that my heritage was purely African.

My sister sat up on the bed when she heard me shutting the door to the bathroom.

"Were you at it again?"she asked staring straight into my eyes.

"I don't know what you're talking about."I said busying myself with drying my hair.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about Moe,you know you have to stop it,it's not healthy!"

Atleast she didn't use my full name even though she was clearly exasperated. She wasn't that mad, just frustrated at how lowly I thought of myself.

"As I told you Mushi,I don't know what you're talking about and I need you to leave my room so that I can get dressed."

She sighed and stood up.

"Moe jus..."

"Mushi please...not now."

She walked to the door and stopped.

"Just hurry up we need to leave in an hour or so and mum doesn't want us to be late for admission."

I nodded."I'll be out in a minute."

She left and shut the door behind her,I walked to my walk in closet and started going through the racks for something to wear.

I had packed three suitcases but there were still a lot of clothes remaining,I decided to settle on a black baggy t-shirt with a Yeezy label at the front,it reached my knees.I paired it with black combat boots and decided to add a black leather corset belt to make the look a little more stylish.

I blow-dried my hair and tied it up in a bun. I then decided to go with a smoky eyelook to complete my black outfit.I put on some winged eyeliner and a thick coat of mascara to elongate my lashes.

I then grabbed the last duffel bag that I had used to pack whatever I had forgotten to pack in the suitcases,I took one last look around my room to see if I had forgotten anything else and with one last sigh locked the door to my bedroom.