Song's Blood

LATELY, Colson Baker

- Hey, have you been eating anything these days? — I asked as I entered her new room in the mansion. Her things were still packed up from the return of the tour.

She finally accepted the invitation of living with me and the boys, it's the less we can do for having her taking care of our asses all this time. I mean she is paid for it, but she hasn't been only an assistent for far too long now, she is family, she will always be.

- I didn't knew you were here, everyone is out to see their loved ones, I actually thought I was all by myself in here. — she said, laid in her bed, and I joined her.

She looked kinda down. I lay down, face to face with her, she had one of the earphones in her hear.

- I could said the same about you... I know I spent lots of time sleeping since we came back from tour, jetlag thing always hits me hard... but I didn't saw you at least once out of this bedroom. — I said, but she closed her eyes, and didn't answer. — Anyway, what are you listening to?

- Lately, by...

- By me? — I interrupted her.

- Yes. Even though that you take my soul to hell every single time during tour, there's nothing in this world that keeps me calm as your voice. — she said, her eyes still closed.

'Lately, I've been having crazy thoughts. The way I'm living, shit get crazy dark'

I couldn't helped not smiling at her statement. I loved that about her, her sincerity, the way she didn't mind what other people would think about her. She always speaks her mine, she's so genuine.

- What's wrong babe? — and then I saw her cheeks getting slightly red, like it always happens when I call her like that, even after all this years. — I never saw you like this.

- For how long have I been touring with you and the boys, Colson? — she whispered, sounding tired.

- Since I can remember actually. — I said after thinking for a second. — You've been with us since the beginning, and there's nothing in this world I'm more thankful for.

I was completely honest. With her, I couldn't ever be other way. But I wasn't completely sure if I was happy with how this conversation was turning. I didn't want her to leave us, to leave me. I needed her with me, I can't really picture the day that I won't.

- You see, just like you Colson, I was born and actually raise in here. In Cleveland. — she started. — But every time we return, it's hard to finally be home, but be home just by myself. To be here and just be alone.

'I'm still dealing with some demons that ain't really there'

I knew perfectly well the way she felt. Better then knew, I understood her. She never was an opened person, but neither me or the boys ever forced her to talk, we just let her be just like she wanted to. But now she was opening her mind to me. Just to me. And all that I wanted it was for me not to ruin it.

- You are not alone, you have me and the boys, you have your family, I'm pretty sure that they miss you a lot. — I tried to comfort her.

- Trust me, they don't. — she whispered it back.

'Look, I promised myself I ain't never going home (not at all). What do you think that type of shit do to your soul?'

- Why would you say that? — I ask softly, placing my hand in her hair, playing with it. — I always miss you as fuck every time we return from tour!