Cody Ko: A Collision With a Fever Dream

Cody's Wild Night

Cody knocked back a Guinness on the rocks at his favorite pub. "Tally ho," he chortled, clinking glasses with his mates. "Or rather, about time I tally up my hoes," he winked.

"I'll cheers to that!" bellowed Noel, swinging his artisanally crafted Shirley Temple towards Cody's nearly empty mug. They smashed the rims of their glasses together over and over. 

"L'chaim!" cried Noel. 

"Skall!" Cody giggled. 

The boys screeched with laughter. "Nah dawg, for real, I gotta get some snatch!" Cody said, taking another swig of his beer and lightly gargling it. "It cleanses my palette," he explained, gesturing to to the liquid dripping down his chin (the aftermath of the gargle). 

Noel nodded understandingly. "More like you gotta snatch up some pussy!" he retorted. 

"I'll cheers to that," laughed Cody. And they began their clinking game once more, until the boys were so taken with the hilarity of this bit that they were breathless and wiping tears from their eyes. "What a wild night!" yelped Cody. "Well, I'm gonna turn in. Cheerio!" He grabbed his parka and left the pub to hail a taxi home.

When Cody arrived at his apartment, he made a beeline for his candlelit, steampunk inspired bedroom. "I am so doggone tired," he muttered to himself, gazing upon his industrial steam powered grandfather clock before collapsing on the black silk bedspread littered with rose petals, gears, and springs. He ptfo.

He opened his eyes to find himself in his favorite pub again. No wait, this wasn't Good Green Ganja Leprechauns, and he wasn't holding a Guinness. The floor was dirt, the walls were bare, dusty wood panels. And in his hand? A big, tall glass of sarsaparilla. 

"Oh no, this can't be..." he thought to himself. Nervously, he reached up to his head. Just as he had feared. Upon his brow rested a cowboy hat. Cody was in the wild west. And so, it turned out, was a fine little lady. Cody gnashed his teeth and hiked up his chaps. He straightened his bolo tie. 

"Well lookie here, a fine little lady," he breathed. "Time to lasso this little lady." Cody tipped his hat in the little lady's direction. He didn't know her name, or even her story. But he knew what this little lady looked like, and she was a feast for the eyes indeed. She was nearly four hay bales tall, and her chest was probably equal in volume to about one-third of a hay bale. Cody did the calculations for converting bales to boob and determined that the little lady's breasts were roughly the equivalent of US bra size 34C. She had long, slender legs that Cody likened to peeled carrots. Her teeth were as white as sugar cubes. Her hair flowed with the thickness and luster of the Colorado river. "Time to go water rafting," Cody whispered with a mischievous grin. 

He galloped over to the little lady. "Well howdy, there, little lady," he drawled.

 "Why hello, I'm Candy," said the little lady, warmly.

 "Pleased to meet you Candy," smiled Cody. "You look ravishing in the light of the moon."

"Well, I'm flattered! Let's not waste any time now!" cried Candy. 

Cody nodded in agreement and grabbed the reins of this encounter, leading her to an empty barn next door. He pressed his lips into hers and they began some exquisite closed mouth kissing. "Now seems like a good time to open our mouths," Cody declared, glancing at his watch. "Ok, when the minute hand passes the 4 we should start some over the pants hand stuff," he noted. 

"Oh Cody, loosen up," moaned Candy. She flipped him over and unbuttoned his denim shirt and dungarees.

"Oh, what's this?" laughed Cody, nervously. He was on his back now. Candy's mane flowed over his chest. "I am scared to have girl on top sex," Cody admitted. "It's my first time with this position."

"Let me show you what you're missing," Candy reassured Cody as she delicately brushed back his greying hair with her hooves before lowering herself onto his outlaw pistol. The two began fornicating, and continued to do so until completion. 

"That climax was otherworldly," Cody gasped, nuzzling her . 

"Glad you enjoyed yourself," she replied, seductively. She trotted out of the room, flicking her tail. 

"Sometimes, we cowboys ride the horse," uttered Cody. "But sometimes, the horse rides us."