The one where the choir gets sold to One Direction

Chapter Five: The Honeymoon

That morning, birds sang with spectacular timbre. It was Monday, and unlike most Mondays this one was sunny both in mood and weather. This week, Lambrecht has made plans to prepare herself for Solo and Ensemble, which was coming up fast. She had chosen to sing Ride on Jing Kesus and Dies Irae. In order to achieve full ensemble status, she had scheduled a procedure later in the week to split her vocal folds.
Suddenly, in ran Nathan Francis Hubbell.

"Nathan, where have you been?" Lambrecht asked.

"I ate a salad made entirely of weed on Friday so I couldn't come to school, where is everyone?"

"Nathan, you idiot, I sold the Choirs to One Direction and then I married them yesterday, they're on their honeymoon now."

"Wait, you married the whole choir?"

"No, I officiated the wedding between One Direction and the Choirs, I didn't get married to them!" She gags.

"That's what I meant!"

"Oh."

"So you said they're on their honeymoon with One Direction?"

"Yes."

"Dammit!!" He immediately runs out the choir door, nearly as fast as that time when he ran to get ice cream on free cone day.

He got in his car and called Sean; after a few moments he picked up.

"What the fuck?" Sean says.

"Sean, where are you?"

Nathan hears another voice shout above Sean.
"Nathan, we're busy, call later!"

"No, what's going on, are you guys in Aruba!?!"

Another voice, "Nate, we're trying to figure out how we can all simultaneously fuck One Direction, it takes complete concentration from everyone in the choir! We can't talk!"

"No way, you guys are going to fuck One Direction without me!?!"

"Well, it's a bit late to stop now!" cried a Sweet Daddy's voice over the phone.

"No! You've already started!?!" Nate says. "Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!!"

Nathan begins to sob uncontrollably as One Direction and the Choirs continue to get busy. In his depressed state, he takes a fat rip worth 50,000 nic off his juul. THATS TOO MUCH NIC BRO!!! The world goes black.

Meanwhile, on a tour bus in Hawaii (we wanted to escape to England, but we couldn't figure out how to drive the bus there, also we didn't have our passports)...

"Yes, yes, yes, almost there!!!"

The beautiful rich person resort was appearing in the distance, we were almost there!!! But suddenly, there was a phone call from some hospital in Michigan. Nobody wanted to answer it, so we didn't.

We got to the hotel and asked for a bedroom to fit 50 people. They immediately got to work, knocking down the walls in their entire top floor. It's good to be the wives and husbands of rich people. We thought. We had to sleep in giant tents while we waited for the hotel room to be finished.

One Direction kissed our head, "What if we stayed here forever?"

"What?" We asked.

"I mean, look around, we're on an island, off the grid." A car drove by, we shielded our eyes from the headlights as we listened intently to our husbands. "The law doesn't apply here, they can never find us. So let's just stay here."

We kissed them ON THE CHEEK. "We'd like that."

We slept.

When we arose and shook the sleep from our piercing bleu face lenses, we saw that ONE DIRECTION WAS GONE!!!

"Good morning, luv." They said.

Oh, we were just looking in the wrong direction, they were to the left but we were looking to the right haha.

"Good morning." We breathe, relieved that they are okay.

They offer us some black pudding, and since we have no idea what that is we say yes so as to not be impolite. Then upon tasting it and hearing what it is we run outside the tent and hurl in our makeshift toilet hole.

"MHSVC?" One Direction calls.

"Hey, don't come out here." We sigh. "You don't need to see this."

"In sickness and in health remember?" They say.

"It must've been the pudding." We give a soft smile. "Can you grab our bag?"

They hand us the bag and we look startled at its contents.

"What is it?" One Direction asks.

We stand up. "How many hours has it been since the wedding?"

"14, why?" They chuckle a little. "Can you tell us what's going on?"

"W-We're late. Our period's late."

"How's that our fault?"

We look at our stomachs in our reflection on the ocean. "That's impossible. Can this happen?" We ask, looking back at One Direction.

They look at us strangely.

"Whoa!" Our stomachs lurch a little.

A cellphone rings in our pocket. We answer it. "Lambo?"

"MHSVC? Are you okay?"

"Um, you called us... but anyway, we don't know. We're a little worried, can fetuses go into shock?"

"Hell if I know. You know this one time-"

"We know that it's impossible but- we think that we're pregnant! Lambo, we swear something just moved inside of us."

One Direction takes the phone from us. "Is this even possible?" They ask into it.

"Is pregnancy possible? Gee, you kids are uneducated, let me tell you how I got pregnant with my daughter-"

"What's she saying?" We ask.

"We don't know, we hung up when she started talking about conceiving her daughter."

We shudder at the thought.

"So... what now?" We ask.

"Wanna go parasailing?" 1D replies.

"Sure."

Within the next 30 minutes we are floating in the sky with a parachute bungee-corded around us. The boat struggles to move forward and pull us. When we said floating in the sky, we mean the parachute is floating while we sit in the ocean trying not to drown in our humongous wake.

"Help! I can't keep my head up anymore!" Cloee attempts to scream over the sputtering motor, but her screams fall on deaf ears.

After the captain gives up trying to get 50 people to parasail, we head back to the mainland.

"MHSVC, can we-" 1D winks, "buy you a drink?"

"1D! Are you flirting with us?"

"Maybe." They blush.

Aw so cute!

"Can we get a virgin Pina Cola- oh! We aren't virgins anymore we have to order it without the virgin! Pina Colada please, hold the virgin!" We grin.

"Coming right up!" 1D says.

When they return with our drink, we take a sip of our first anti-virgin Pina Colada.

"Don't get me wrong, sex is fun, but anti-virgin Pina Coladas taste a bit weirder than the kind for virgins."

"Oh," 1D frowns, "I understand."

"No, 1D! We wouldn't change a thing though. We love you and we love everything that comes with it!" We place a hand on our growing bellies.

We can't wait to continue our adventure with 1D, especially with our incoming new addition. :)