Headlights. I stare into headlights, growing brighter, brighter. Fascinated. Beautiful. I can't move. Why? Something bad is about to happen, I can't move. Why can't I move? I try, my my feet are held by anchors. Why? Why isn't my body listening? I raise my hands. They are suppossed to say, stop, but they don't. Nothing happens. Still. Closer, brighter. Brighter. Beautiful.
Smile, she says. It's amazing, you should smile. Why aren't you smiling?
Because it's not amazing. Don't say it is. Lies.
So close now, lovely.
No. Bad. Move.
They stop. Why stop? Why? Just keep going, does it even matter? No, they stop.
"Hey, kid!" He yells. "You should probably get out of the middle of the road!"
I move. Why now? Why not move before? Why? Confused, now. I walk to the side of the two lane highway. Onto the white line at the edge. Fading. Pretty. I walk. I walk until I can't, but then I still do. I walk miles and miles. And miles more. And then I get there. Walk up the driveway. My neighbor's. Go through the hole in their fence. Into my yard, walk to the door in the back. Open.
Slowly, careful.
Yes, slowly. The door creaks and moans. I must be slow. Careful. Inside.
Lock it.
Yes, I remember. Strip my clothes, throw them on the floor. Walk. Into my room, now. Onto my bed. Sleep.
Sleep? Oh, no.
But I have to. I'm sorry I make you feel this way, but I need this. Silence. Has she left? I enjoy the company of her. Comfort. Lies. No. I don't. But I do. Not. I put on headphones. I sleep.
YOU ARE READING
In My Mind
Non-FictionDealing with family issues and mental disorders, Leila is telling everything about her. Inside her mind are demons and disruptive plans. She experiences hallucinations throughout the day, which she has grown accustomed to, the voices in her head n...
