collarbones || yang jeongin

sampu

trigger warning reminder.

Everything that was within view

I gobbled down.

It was as if I couldn't stop, 

my limbs moving as though they were

on autopilot.

And finally,

finally,

when nothing remained,

I dashed down the halls of the dorm.

My fingers were already half down my throat

before I reached the bathroom.

The pure silence of the dorm was disrupted

by the retching sounds I released.

Tears pricked my eyes.

Not from the convulsions,

Not from the vomiting

Not from my nails scratching 

my throat raw.

But from the guilt the enveloped my being.

He was watching me, judging me.

"I-I'm sorry"

I beg, my voice broken.

"Pathetic. And here I trusted

you to continue without me.

I guess that was a mistake.

"N-NO! Please!" 

I'm interrupted by my own gagging.

Gagging that turned into coughing,

then choking,

then eventually darkness.

The cold tile of the bathroom finally allowing my numbed out body to feel something again