Reconstructing bonds ( Yugyeom Bambam Got7 Fanfic)

Reconstructing bonds

Foggy sky splashed with lavender paint like a beautiful artwork And here he was standing staring at it in awe. Mind blank and lips parted around labored breathes. Eyes wide sparkles swimming in pools of tears refusing to fall. His arms raising numbly to hug his torso holding it in a loss grip contrary to how deep his fingers dug into the flesh. A shiver traveling along his spine covering his skin with goosebumps and making him squat down on the ground finding his legs too weak to carry him anymore. "Coward" he whispered to no one but himself as guilt washed over him. He knew about this and for a long time. He agonized through it already. He was supposed to be over it. He thought he was okay with it. Then why is he feeling this stapping pain again in full intensity like a fresh wound being cut in the same old spot? Reliving it again with double the pain. His chest contrasted turning his quickened breaths to desperate gasps and breaking the dams of sheer will he was holding back his tears with to flood his cheeks with salty water. The sky was darkening replacing its light purple color for a dark violet one promising an upcoming Dark moonless night. streetlamps started flickering to cast a warm orange light over the pavement. Proving a source of illumination for the empty street. Empty of any living souls other than the tall body crouching down holding himself tightly as faint cries broken the ruling silence. Making him look so fragile and small. So heartbreaking.  cool summer breeze blowing gently through the city's streets caressing his fluffy black hair as if it was soothing him. The trees rustling lightly as if they were offering him words of comfort. As if him setting here crying was causing them despair. As if they were missing the cheerful boy that used to used run around laughing around them. That thought made anger bubble inside of him as if he didn't miss that version of himself, as if he wasn't despising what he has been rendered to. This week, a coward person that only knows how to run away That didn't know how to control his emotions nor thoughts. He hated it. Hated how hard it was to keep his facades. To try to put on a smile while all he felt was misery. He hated how he wanted to put a distance between himself and his long life best friend but he wasn't able to face him. Not like this. The last thing he wanted is to destroy their friendship over something long gone but the hate growling inside of him was too overwhelming. He wanted her away. Away from him. Away from his life. She didn't have the right to be around him. Not after what she did. Not after breaking his heart just a few months ago. Not after dropping these words so coldly as if she wasn't shattering his first love story and burning it in his face. Till he remembers them. Even now he can hear it inside his head with the same ice-cold tone of voice.

"I never loved you all from the start. I just thought it would be fun and apparently, I was wrong. So let's break up"  

How cruel She didn't have the right to come back just a few months after as his best friend's new classmate and worrm her way into their life. It was rude and it was frustrating watching her rooming around bam acting all shy and sweet like he wasn't just a few centimeters away. He was delusional he knew it. He shouldn't have put so many Hope's and dreams on his first relationship. That's what he told himself just after their break up and he keeps telling himself now. That's what he fed up his confused mind with instead of all the *where did I go wrong* and *whys* .

That maybe she wasn't as bad as he was making her be. That maybe it was his fault for having too many expectations. Using those thoughts to get over the jumble of emotions that pressed at his heart suffocating him every time his brain replayed the memory of their separation. Repeating every word, every gesture and every expression passing her beautiful face.
So he decided to let it go. To dispose of all the hate and hurt she evoked in him. To just forget her as a whole like nothing ever happened. He started new like he never fell in love. But her appearance dragged him back.  throwing all his efforts away and bring him back to the beginning like the day she cut their relationship was yesterday not 7 months ago and it hurts. It hurts to see her look at someone else the way he wished she looked at him. He was in rock bottom when he met her again. The way she greeted him -like they never crossed each other let alone been lovers- broke him. Causing him physical pain as if she slapped him across his face. But again he tried to pull himself together to get past the renewed agony to accept that it wasn't his place to intervene. That he shouldn't act vicious and get his friend into a ridiculous revenge game that will only hurt all three of them and he tried but all was in vain. He couldn't stomp down the roaring anger inside of him. Couldn't dodge the knife that stabbed his heart every time his eyes landed on her. He tried. He truly did and as always it didn't do shit. So he did what any coward do best he backed away. Withdrew from both of them and now he literally dashed away at the sight of her confessing to him. His legs just moved out of their own volition breaking into a run -as if they were trying to save him, to protect his heart, the way no one of them does- taking him to a Secluded place, to a familiar one.