It's you

It's you, it's always you

If I'm ever gonna fall in love I know it's gon' be you

It's crazy, they say. How a person could gravitate you towards them effortlessly. He's just being there breathing, but it affects him so much, its overwhelming; to the point he's unsure how to respond. He's never been a coward or unsure person but with him, that's all he ever be.

Since the beginning of time, the very first encounter of two boys, full with aspire and dreams; hoping earnestly to become a great dancer. Paired up by destiny and somehow the pairing works so well. He didn't know to thank JYP PD-nim or GOD; for singlehandedly decided that they would be a great pair with ultimate chemistry, or God for blessing JYP PD-nim with such eyes that could see talents.

He never thought that the simple thought of he's cute talking with his Jinhee-gu accent of his, looking like bumpkin boy as an early sign of him falling in love. There's nothing harmful thinking your partner was such a cute boy right?

They were just boys at that time, stranger-turn-partner-turn-friend, a relationship that seems shallow, he never imagined that one day he would be sucked into him like a big black hole. He never knew back then, but his indescribable feeling most probably already started then.

It's scary how easy to love him, as a friend, as a dong saeng, as a best friend. And he didn't even realize he had fallen deeper into him. There's this voice at the back of his head, trying to drag him out of hiding but he always suppressed that unconscious mind for the sake of his career, their career he says.

It's you, it's always you

Met a lot of people, but nobody feels like you

He never thought that brotherhood form at the tender age of fifteen could blossom beautifully into this, soulmate-like relationship; where they're comfortable with just being there for each other. It's different being around Jinyoung. It's almost feels like home. Those rare calm and serene feeling he usually get from being near to his mom, then his stepfather who turn out to love him just as his own. Then, Jinyoung; he's the only person who exude those calm feeling out of him. He feels like, smells like and comfortable like home.

He will call him his home proudly if that not going to sound cheesy as hell, but he realised with his bad boy like demeanor calling someone as home was quite suspicious. Thus, he suppressed those feeling again, trying to find distraction and make him forget. Thus, the hoping from one to another girls in light, boys in the dark. But no matter how pretty or charming his partner is, they will never be Park fucking Jinyoung. They failed to make him feels at home. There's nobody like him. There's nobody feels like him.

Thus, the frequent bantering, they blame it on raging teenage hormones. As much as he makes him feels calm, that much also he rages him. Every time he interacts with other trainee, or fellow idols. He feels like punching them square in the face. He can't help noticing subtle flirts those jerks/bitches throw at him, but as dense as Park Jinyoung is, he's not aware. When Jaebum tries to weave some sense into that pretty little brain of his, he always shrugged it away, saying Jaebum's sprouting nonsense.

"I mean, I can understand if girls flirt with me, but boys? You're too paranoid hyung" he just shrugs and walk away from their discussion. And that was one of the times their arguments will transform into a full blown fight. It was that cycle over and over again. Arguing and making up. Usually they can't spend more than 2 days not talking to each other. Cause Jaebom did noticed, he was Jinyoung's home as much as Jinyoung was his.

So, please, don't break my heart

Don't tear me apart

So as much as he hates begging, right now he was on his knees proposing to Jinyoung to be his boyfriend and take a good care of him. This also after months, no, years of considerations. Since he realised, no matter who he dated with, he won't be satisfied, cause they just not Jinyoung, not his Jirongie.