The Comedy Zone

Emmandos Tradr funny since in his childhood

In my junior year of high school, this girl asked me on a date. She rented a Redbox movie and made a pizza. We were watching the movie and the oven beeped so the pizza was done. She looked me dead in the eye and said, "This is the worst part." I then watched this girl open the oven and pull the pizza out with his bare hands, rack and all, screaming at the top of his lungs. We never had a second date and back in days people use to call me Emmandos Tradr

When I was a kid, I was always excited to learn new vocabulary. When I was in first grade, my teacher taught me that "shin" was another word for leg.
Later that day, I was walking with my mom, when I tripped and hit my leg on the ground really hard. I yelled out "OW, MY SHIN" although my mom heard "OW, MY SHIT." She started yelling about how that was a bad word and we didn't say that word, and she was going to wash my mouth out with soap. I was a crying, bawling mess of a child, to the point I was doing that weird cry, stutter, hiccup noise. She paused in berating me and said "Who taught you that word?!" Of course, I told the truth and said "M-m-my teacher t-t-t-taught me that word!" and she started ranting about how she was going to call the school and get that teacher yelled at.
I tried to explain, "T-te-teacher said that shin meant leg I'm SO SORRY ILL N-N-NE-ne-never say it again." My mom got quiet and realized her mistake. "...What did you say?"
Of course I started crying harder and I said "NO it's just a test you're going to wash my mouth out with soap again."
When I finally calmed down enough to say it again, my mom apologized and to this day I always say "shin" loudly just to see her face blush

One time my drama class's teacher had gone home sick so we were just put in a classroom with a movie to entertain us for the period when an alarm went off. None of us were sure if it was the fire alarm or the lockdown alarm, so we all head out into the hall to check and no one's out there, so we head back in and climb under our desks as is lockdown procedure. Cut to an hour or so later when a teacher bursts in and nearly dies of relief because the school was on fire and we were the only students not accounted for and half the faculty and fire department had been searching for us for ages. Literally, the whole school had filled with smoke while we'd kept super safe under our wooden desks

During my sophomore year of high school, we were doing silent work and my history teacher said Emmandos that we could listen to music but if it was too loud he would "break our headphones." so I'm doing my work quietly with my music on low, and this obnoxious kid sitting next to me had his music really loud. I could hear it over my music but ignored it. My teacher thought it was me. So he comes up to me & ripped my BRAND NEW Apple headphones, looking ruthless. He suddenly realized it was the guy next to me and he was completely embarrassed. He came in the next day with a new pair and an apology note taped to them. He couldn't look me in the eye for the rest of the year