The next day, Tuesday, in between practices and still several hours before he was going to spend the night with Jay and Coach, Jeff went to see Landen in the hospital. Needless to say, that was not a visit Jeff relished making. While he understood rationally there was no connection, Jeff had been unable to shake the feeling that whatever had caused his former friend's sudden emergency late Sunday night - something about his small intestines getting tangled up or blocked - was somehow connected to Jeff's drop by earlier that night. He could still feel Landen's throat in his hand...and his fat dick in his other hand. To his surprise, Landen seemed genuinely delighted to see him when he walked into Landen's room.
"Landen, I don't even know what to say," he began awkwardly after Landen's parents had left them alone. Jeff had moved closer, and was sitting on the edge of Landen's hospital bed, primarily so that he wouldn't have to speak as loudly, because he was expecting a pretty frank discussion about his Sunday night visit and what had led to it. "I feel absolutely terrible about what happened—" "What, about my 'intestinal blockage'? That's not on you, bro."
"No, about earlier that night—"
"Jeff, shut the fuck up. I had a whole lot worse than what you did coming to me. I was fucking awful to you. And even worse to Max. I'm surprised you'd even come see me after how I treated you. Your, um, visit Sunday evening might just be one of the best things anybody's ever done for me. It was a real wake up call...after I passed out and woke up here."
"But your intestines—" Landen burst out laughing, cutting Jeff off. "Ouch, that hurts, still tender. My 'intestinal blockage'...Dude, I shoved a fucking cucumber the size of your dick, maybe even bigger, up my ass...all the way up my ass. I got drunk as a fucking lord after you left and I was thinking about you, jacking off, fucking myself with a goddamned cucumber. Picture this shit, man...I'm sitting back in an Eames chair, naked as a jaybird, of course, my feet propped up against a full-length mirror, with about half of that big ass cucumber shoved in my hole. Well, that wasn't fucking deep enough, so I push it in farther...whoops, too far, I realize too late...
"Naturally, the cucumber, my ass and my hands are slathered with Astro glide. There's probably only about two inches of that bad boy sticking out of the black hole that is my butt hole, and that black hole is still drawing it in, slowly but inexorably. So, I know I've got to take action. I try to grab the tip of that slippery fucking cucumber with my thumb and one finger, but they slip off, of course, and in the process, I actually propel it the rest of the way inside me...WHOOSH‼️...straight up my ass. I mean, I'm watching all of this in the mirror...one second I'm looking at two inches of green sticking out of my ass and the next I'm looking at my puckered pink ass hole." Landen started laughing his ass off again, holding his incision in pain, and Jeff joined in with him. They fed each other's laughter until both had tears in their eyes, and that felt really good, at least to Jeff. He reached over and put his hand on top of Landen's.
"You know, this might sound almost as fucking crazy as you shoving a cucumber up your ass," Jeff said, feeling a need for confession, "well, not that crazy, but when I shoved you against the door and then I grabbed your junk, do you know what I was thinking?"
"Probably that you were going to fucking kill me," Landen guessed. "No, man, I mean, I was fucking furious, but when I had your big fat dick in my hand - again - all I could think was, 'Fuck, Landen really does have a nice cock' and it was all I could do to stay mad at you...and not give you a fucking hand job." They laughed together again and, on an impulse (more or less), Jeff slid his hand off of Landen's and under the sheet, seeking and finding Landen's fat dick, squeezing his junk gently but firmly, over and over again through his hospital gown.
Jeff hadn't counted on that fucking hospital gown, having assumed Landen would be wearing boxers or whatever. 'Fuck it,' Jeff thought, and ran his hand down to the bottom of the gown and underneath it, back up to Landen's warm flesh and blood penis, which he resumed squeezing rhythmically, just like you might do if your whole purpose was to get your buddy hard. From the moment Jeff's hand slipped under Landen's sheet until the last time he pulled it out, with only a couple of exceptions, their eyes remained locked on one another's. "You really do have a nice fat cock," Jeff whispered as Landen's dick responded to his insistent touch. "Feel anything different down there, bro?" Landen asked. "Your fat dick is getting fatter," Jeff replied, grinning. "True," Landen acknowledged, "but I meant my pubic hair." Jeff slid his hand up a couple of inches. "It's fucking gone!" Jeff exclaimed, surprised.
