Can't Be Cured

Prologue

Ezekiel's POV

 "FUUUUUUUCK!" I scream into my pillow. Another day, another mental break down. I want to cry. And die my hair. And pierce my lip.

   Do I want to get these things done professionally? No. Am I going to do any of them? Yes. And that's how I ended up crying for 2 hours. It wasn't because I'm dying. It was because of the reason I'm dying. Rea fucking Beckett.

  Oh sorry. Let me explain. I'm Ezekiel Jacobson, most people just call me Zek (pronounced Z-ee-k). You're probably thinking "Did he just...?" and yes I did break the fourth wall. Not even flex tape can fix it now. You're most likely also wondering why I'm dying. You'll find out soon enough. Now the real question is "will I live"? I don't know. Let's start from the beginning.

Nearly 4 months ago 

  "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry" The words at the end of that large breakup text finally got me. I couldn't hold my tears any longer.

Hedoesn'tlovemehedoesn'tlovemehedoesn'tlovemehedoesn'tloveme

My mind was racing but only that one thought was cycling over and over and over. He doesn't love me and he never truly did.

I reassured him I was fine and that I understood. I had never been so grateful for texting. If he were able to see my face, then he'd have known that I was the farthest from fine I'd ever been. My tears mixed with snot and my throat burned. My face was red and my eyes swollen. None of that compared to the throbbing I felt inside my chest. The boy I wanted to marry shattered my heart and went on like it was nothing more than breaking the clip on a pen lid. Despite the label of boyfriend, he hadn't lost anyone important. Just someone he perceived as friends with benefits. Me? I lost the man I planned a life for. A man I wanted to have children with. I wanted this man for the rest of my life and the whole thing had just been one large fantasy.

  After an agreement to stay friends we were talking occasionally. He explained that he wasn't in the best place and he might disappear a bit. That's fine. I know! I'll send him funny messages and stuff for when he comes back online. He's got to at least crack a smile. He stopped responding. Eventually, I just gave up. My friendship isn't what he wanted and that was okay. Those first few months without him hurt worse than any pain I had ever felt. Then there was someone new.