Wrist Scars and Tally Marks

Introduction

I had just turned fourteen when my first tally appeared on my wrist, just below my right palm. I was talking to my best friend, joking harmlessly back and forth, when I noticed a sharp pain in my wrist. Luckily it was winter so I had gloves and a coat on but I made some bullshit excuse as to why I had to leave and raced home. I ran up the stairs and into my bedroom, threw my coat off and stood in horror as one thin line displayed quickly across my wrist.

I'm not sure which hurt worse, knowing that I had fallen in love with my best friend, or not seeing, for many years, the line darken with her requited love. Even though I knew Jordan would never be interested in me that way, I still wished. As winter moved on, it got more and more difficult to hide the tally from her. When it became summer, she questioned me frequently about why I was constantly wearing long sleeves, pulling down my shirts any time she was near. I hated lying to her, telling her I was always cold.

When the third tally appeared on my sixteenth birthday I decided to come clean with Jordan. I dragged her to my room, away from all of the noise of the party, and lifted up my sleeves in her direction. I only said four words, the last four words she'd ever hear out of my mouth: the first is yours. She stared at me for what seemed like an eternity, and then left. And because we went to two different schools, I've never seen her since.

I'm 18 now and instead of only three tallies I have eight.

I'm sorry, you must be confused. Let me explain. When you fall in love a tally mark appears on your wrist. Each time. Even if you fall out of love with them the tally never goes away. There are different kinds of tallies too. Just a plain one means you have fallen in love. A bolded tally means that not only you have fallen for someone, but they have fallen for you too. Finally, a tally that has scarred means the loved one has died. No one knows why any of this happens.

It can also be a blessing or a curse. It's cute to see a couple holding hands and both of their wrists are displayed to see a perfect line of bold bliss on both wrists. But if you're like me, unrequited love hurts and it's even worse when one of those light lines become scarred. If it's not enough to know that a loved one has died, it hurts even worse when it starts scarring. I should know, I knew Jordan died three days after my seventeenth birthday. I don't know how or where, but I knew the moment she did.

I work at a nursing home now, just so you know. It's pretty sad in there, seeing all the people who have love, who never had love, and who did but they are now gone. I don't know why I started working there. I knew it was a bad idea, but somebody had to do it.

Anyways, enough of the talking. I just wanted to let you know what was going on. My name's Kylie. Let's get started.