Insentient

1

The sun took a peek over the horizon between the roofs of houses scattered over the once lusciously green plains. The coconut trees stayed rooted to the earth as the few thick branches, and some coconuts swayed lightly as if straining to answer a call carried by the soft cool breeze in the dry summer heat. 

To the side of me, across the road and a few steps away, a neighbour's quiet but somewhat happy looking dog barks ominously during this early hour. Just then a chill swept down my spine and a drip flowed down the side of my head. I stilled, and my heart palpitated quickly as each second passed. 

Please

Just ...

I probably should have given up on an answer to the many silent prayers I cry my soul out for. However, a slight puff of scented smoke coolly spreads over my face. I briefly hint a mix of coke and mary jane from the polluted air that was sent my way and, something else all too familiar to me just not sure why so early. Blood. On that note, I knew it was time to rise to the very much less than pleasant occasion. I slowly opened my eyes to meet the carrier of foul smells, STD's and who knows what else, both locally and probably internationally, I'm guessing. Immediately sitting up simultaneously backing up pointlessly up the seemingly chipping already grey wall while my abuser slowly creeps towards me with hungry, lustful eyes, drooling lips and blood stained blue striped dress shirt. His messed up curly hair and dry cum stained slacks gave away how he possibly might have spent the previous night at his supposed 'meeting' with some 'brokers' he knew in his freshman years which had to be about 3,4 almost 7 years ago I thought in my head and never out loud. Just as my mind was on overdrive accessing the situation at hand, his hand had already started making its way towards my chestnut brown freckled face, and I could not flinch away. I tried not to. Next thing I knew articles of clothing were off and both parties drenched in sweat for opposite reasons. My days and nights had consisted of chores getting high (not by choice) and trying to live at least a second more as a day passed. 

On that specific day, as it turned out, my abductor had killed a person. Another person. The neighbour. 

Mr Rodowski had been sliced and diced in parts. His wife had found him. And hours later so was I, This event has stuck with me years even after my rapist had been sent away under lock and key tossed out down the drain. Still, my life was lived in shadows and minimalism merely going to the office and back to my small town apartment in an entirely different town. I was done with life, but it wasn't done with me. I am Insentient to all it has left for me.