Lover of an Anarchist (based on characters from Sons of Anarchy)

Chapter Eleven

(One year later: Neve's P.O.V)
I awoke that morning with Jax propped up on one elbow smiling sweetly down at me.
"Morning, Babe." He said and kissed my head.
"Morning." I said as I stretched my arms above my head. I then smiled at the memory of what we did the night before and blushed. I still hadn't told Jax about Marshall but I'd pretty much moved on from the whole ordeal and I was finally feeling safe again, all because of Jax. I was completely lost in reminiscence about the amazing man beside me when my sister knocked on the door.
"Hang on!" Jax called as he got up, sliding on his boxers and sweatpants before he opened the door. I put on my bra, underwear and an oversized t shirt just before he got to the door.
"You hungry?" Nad asked as she held a tray of food out to Jax. He nodded.
"Thanks, Darlin'," he said. "Looks good."
"Thanks, Nad!" I said smiling at my sister.
"You're welcome, guys." She said smiling at us before leaving.
After we ate I got up and slid on my dressing gown before walking towards the bathroom. I'd only just reached the door when Tig opened it. He stood in front of me wearing only his dark jeans. I felt the urge to cover myself or run away.
"How stupid," I thought. "Even after a year I'm still nervous around him." He stepped closer to me and put his hands on my hips. I stood my ground, hoping he wouldn't notice my breathing pick up.
"Hey, Doll," he said with a sly smirk. "Nervous about something?" I folded my arms, rolled my eyes and said
"Tig, I'm not the scared little girl I used to be. I'm not afraid of you."
"Didn't think you would be, Princess," he said in his deep gravelly tone before placing one of his hands on my chest. "You may not be scared of me, but I definitely make you nervous. Your heart's beating a mile a minute." I rolled my eyes again, pushed his hands away and said
"Don't touch me." Before I walked into the bathroom and locked the door. I heard him chuckle and sighed in relief as I heard his footsteps retreating. He was right. I was nervous around him. After a few minutes in the bathroom showering and getting dressed I walked downstairs towards the kitchen replying to several crude remarks from the guys with
"Bite me assholes."
"Love to, baby!" One of them said as the rest of them cackled. I ignored the rest of the comments as I continued to the kitchen where I proceeded to make a cup of coffee. While making the coffee I was to tense that I didn't notice Chibs walk in so when he placed his hand on my back, I jumped.
"Shit!" I exclaimed, startled by his presence. I turned to face him.
"Easy, Lass. You okay?" I took a deep breath to calm myself, unsuccessfully.
"No," I said. "Not really. Tig is being his usual aggravating self and the rest of the guys out there are being total pigs to me and my sister and I for one have had it! Sorry for taking it all out on you, Chibs. I just needed to vent and you happened to be here." I sighed and closed my eyes, leaning my back against the counter.
"It's perfectly fine, Love. It seems like more than just that though, is there anything else you want to talk about?" The funny thing about Chibs is that he's like the father I've never known. He's always so willing to listen and I'd gotten fairly close to him over the past year so I told him what I hadn't even told Jax. I told him about Marshall and explained how I wanted to tell Jax but didn't know how.
"Well, Baby Girl," he said. "That sounds like a complicated situation but I'd say the best thing to do would be to just tell him. Jackie Boy loves you and he would do anything for you. I'll go get Gemma though so you can talk to her she's better at handling this sort of thing." I nodded.
"Thanks, Chibs." I said and smiled. He kissed my head and hugged me before walking out to the living room to find Gemma.
While Chibs was explaining my situation to Gemma I walked back upstairs and as I walked past the bathroom I heard the shower running that was probably Jax because all the other guys were down in the living room. I walked into my room closing the door and sitting on my bed. After a few minutes of sitting there I heard a knock on the door.
"Who is it?" I called.
"It's me," Gemma called. "You gonna let me in, Baby?"
"Just a sec!" I called and raced over to the door, letting her in. She immediately pulled me into a hug and kissed my head.
"Chibs explained what happened to you," she told me. "I know what it's like to be afraid to talk about it but in the long run its better to say something. Not only for you but for your relationship. I was raped a year and a half ago and me not telling Clay almost destroyed our marriage. I was afraid of him touching me and he was frustrated that I was pushing him away because he didn't know why I was. Finally it got to the point where I just had to tell him... So I did and we've never been stronger. So you need to tell Jax. I know it's scary Baby, but it'll help."
I was surprised to hear Gemma's story. She seemed so vulnerable telling me that. I never thought Gemma would be afraid of anything. She always seemed so fearless. Maybe what happened to her made her stronger. What almost happened to me made me feel weaker. I thought I'd moved on but I guess I hadn't and Jax was the only person I hadn't told.
"I'm sorry that happened to you, Gemma." I said.
"It's over now," she said. Her defences put firmly back in place. She had her Bad-Ass-Biker-Mom facade back.
"How about we tell Jax together?" She suggested. I liked that idea. I nodded and she went to find him. I sat on my bed again.
A few minutes later, Gemma came back to my room with Jax in tow. As soon as he saw me I saw a look of worry cross his face. I curled up, pulling my knees to my chest. He walked over and sat on the edge of my bed.
"Neve?" He asked worried. "What is it?" I looked over to Gemma.
"She has something pretty daunting to tell you. Be patient, Jackson. It's gonna be hard for her."
"Ok," he said looking over to his mom and then back to me. "What is it, Darlin,?" I looked down, bit my bottom lip and took a deep breath. I looked over to Gemma for encouragement. She walked over and took my hand.
"You can do this, Baby." She said and nodded. I nodded back at her and finally told Jax my story. Once I was finished I was crying and I saw a pained and angry expression on his face.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner." I cried. He said nothing, just pulled me into his arms and held me securely against his chest.
"I love you, Neve," he told me. "I'm so sorry that happened. I'll do everything I can to make you safe and happy." I nodded and held myself closer to him.
"You already do make me safe and happy," I said, my voice muffled by his shoulder. "I love you too." Then I lifted my head and turned to Gemma.
"Thank you, Gemma." I said as I stood up to hug her.
"No problem, Sweetheart," She said and kissed my cheek. "I'm gonna leave you two love birds alone." She smiled at us both.
"Thanks mom." Jax said. Gemma smiled again.
"Sure thing, Baby," she said. "I love you, both."
"We love you too." Jax told his mother. I nodded. Then Gemma left, closing the door.
Gemma was right. Telling Jax about Marshall lifted a weight off my shoulders and made me feel stronger and closer to Jax. We spent the rest of the day in the park having a picnic and just talking. He said it was nice to have a normal day for once. I agreed. It really was.

Authors Note: I'm sorry for the almost rambling in this chapter. I'm in the process of editing this story on paper and this chapter was originally three. I appreciate constructive criticism. Enjoy!
~Chloe. xo
P.S the picture above is how I pictured Neve.