✺ despair // minsung ☽

dreary night

i was lost.

but i kept running.

i ran and ran, even if my exhaustion was starting to take over my entire body.

i ran and ran and kept running, yet i had no ability to shout and ask for help.

i ran and ran, hoping to get to mine and Felix's house.

i ran and ran, in high hopes of getting away from this MONSTER that wasn't allowing me to move forward and let go.

all of my efforts of survival, gone in an instant as i tripped over my own shoelaces.

i hurriedly stood up in a panic but as soon as i stood up, i was slammed back down with an insane amount of strength. i flipped myself over, in an attempt to look at the thing that threw me over.

"jisungie..."

and time stopped as i made eye contact with my ex-lover.

or should i say, my DEAD ex-lover.

his beautiful, clear and slightly-tanned skin was now ghostly-white. pale as snow and glowing in the moonlight, bruises adorning his entire face.

his neck that i once loved making love marks on, now had a giant cut.

rotten skin surrounded the scar and pooling of black liquid, which i assumed was blood, was prominent.

his beautiful hazel brown orbs had now become pure white, his irises and pupils invisible in my eyes.

it had been three years since i last saw him.
three years since i last kissed him.
three years since his very own father beat him up.
three years since he was beheaded.
three years since he died.

but now, he was right here.

standing in front of me, a crazy smile plastered on his lips. a bloody kitchen knife was firmly grasped by his right hand, and his father's head was held on the other.

"jisungie... we're finally gonna be together again."

his voice that once sounded just like a melody to my ears, now sounded like hell itself. a once familiar tune has become something i have never heard before.

his old voice became distorted, extremely broken and sounded like it was mixed with a metal plate getting cut by a knife.

i wanted to tell him to stop. to put an end to this nonsense and just let it go.

but i couldn't speak.

it was as if my mouth was sewed shut.
no sound escapes my lightly agape lips, as fear overtook my entire senses.

my hands were paralyzed.
my knees were shaking.
my limbs were frozen.

i was afraid.

yet my eyes were only on him.

i gasped as he threw his father's head in front of me, landing on my knees and dirtying them with blood. the eye sockets were empty. the mouth was wide open but the tongue was missing. the face was like ones you'd see in gory horror movies.

it was barely even a face.

yet somehow, unmistakenly, a recognizable expression haunted his father's face.

forever captured like a painting on a canvas.

etched upon that face were hints of sadness, a speck of agony, and a crease of regret.

yet the most prominent of all was an expression of pure fear.

fear of his life?
fear of the dead?
fear of the consequences of his actions?
fear of his own flesh and blood?

who knows? i might never be able to find out.

"sungie..."

i looked back at him, the one i loved most.

"you will finally join me. we can finally be together again. we can finally be together..."

"forever."

he started to raise his right hand, the blade of the knife glistening in the sombre glow of the midnight sun.

i couldn't do anything to stop him.

at first i thought that this must have been some form of twisted dream. a nightmare to haunt me as i failed to cope with my lover's passing.

yet as the blade was plunged into my body, pain followed suit.

the pain was ringing in my ear and banging in my skull. it was nowhere yet everywhere.

it was real.

he kept stabbing me, burying the knife deep into my skin before taking it out and pushing it back in, all while laughing maniacally.

the pain was unbearable. blood was coming out of my mouth and my stomach.

i was starting to lose my senses and my conciousness, but he spoke again.

"you're mine. and only mine."

a mantra of possessive words followed suit. yet i failed to identify any of them at all.

my senses were failing me.

the darkness was enveloping me

even with open eyes, the world was no longer visible.

my consciousness was slipping.
my body was giving up.
i felt my body get numb.
my heartbeat was failing.
the whole world was—

"i love you, my sungie."

turned black.

— — — — —

"jisung? jisung? where are you?"