Acceptance is All I Want

This is Me

I never really had to go through life alone due to me having a sister, more specifically a twin sister.  I was used to the teasing I received by my peers, but I figured that once we started the sixth grade everything would change.  I hate to think of my innocent nativity, but I know that I was a child and I did not have to face that burden by myself.

The bullying was not bad at first.  Most of my peers kept it to a minimum, but one question changed that.

"Are you a lesbian?"

This was in the year 2012 and in the southern part of America, so homosexuality was not really an open idea during that time.  

I was not aware of what a lesbian was and asked the question barer what she meant.  She explained to me that it was when you like girls.  I thought for a moment and answered yes.  I liked girls because I am a girl and I support girls.  Then everyone screamed and ran away.  I was confused and tried to explain myself, but it was too late.  

This was not the only thing that affected me during sixth grade.  I was unlucky enough to catch pink eye and had to leave school for the day.  The doctor gave me permission to go back to school the next day, so I did.  Everyone questioned me what happened and I explained I had pink eye.  In a childish manner, a boy screamed and pointed at me, "She's contagious!"  I was not contagious.

My contagious self did not get any help when in a class a girl grabbed my wrist.  This would be fine, but life has given me the short end of the stick and gave me neurofibromatosis, a condition that causes tumors to grow on my nerves.  I was lucky enough to have a tumor on my wrist, so when the classmate grabbed my wrist I let out a scream of pain and pulled away.  She looked at me confused and I explained to her about my bumps.  I thought it was normal and at the time was not aware that I had neurofibromatosis.  I told her I had them all my life, but that did not matter she believed that I had mumps.

No one wanted to sit next to me on the bus or during class.  They would rather run laps then sit next to me.  I lost my friends because of this and what hurts, even more, was when they would hang out with my sister.  I would sit near them, since my sister was the only one who would not run away from me, and try to talk and reconnect with my exfriends.  Instead, they would ignore me.  What would hurt the most would be when they would talk bad about me when I was right there.  My sister would speak up and tell them that I was nearby, but they did not care.  They would outright say that they did not care.

It got scary.  My classmates began to threaten to kill me.  I would go to my school counselor who seemed not to care.  The school could not do anything.  One day, I responded to these threats. "If you come onto my property, you won't be walking off it," I told the kid who threatened to kill me.  It was scary because he lived across the street from me.  The next day I got called to the counselor's office and I saw his fake tears as she asked me to sit down.  She wanted to know why I did what I did.  I burst into tears, even I was not sure why I would stoop down to his level.  The counselor let me off with a warning and I realized that she did not care about me.  If she did then she would have helped me when I was being threatened.

I believe that the teachers at the middle school did not care for me.  I believe this because I can remember countless days where I was being bullied in front of them and they would just laugh or watch.  The entire classed laughed at me for sounding like an Indian while reading a passage out loud from a book.  The teacher just watched during gym class when a group of three girls jumped me over a basketball.  I would go to her in tears begging to go to the front office, but she would tell me no.  I received pity from a classmate who went to the teacher and asked if her friend could go to the front office.  The gym teacher said yes, not knowing it was me she was referring to.

The middle school I attended for sixth grade had it to where the class was split.  There were two groups, A and R.  I was in group A and my twin sister in R.  We both already knew that the team R was meant to be more advanced, but in all honesty, they were both taught the same thing.  I was in group A and excelling.  I was making almost all one hundred in all but one of my classes.  This class was Language Arts, my best subject.  Which was strange, but I wanted more of a challenge.  I did not want to be given the easier classes, so I was moved to group R.  Everyone in the sixth grade thought that group A was for advanced and group R was for retarded, so everyone assumed I was moved because I was too dumb for group A.  This was explained over and over, but everyone refused to believe it.  A kid went up to my sister one day and started to talk about how his report card was bad, with all C's, but it had to be better than mine.  I made A's and B's.  I have not made a C since the second grade.  My sister laughed and told him he was wrong, but did he believe her?  No.

Now, I could go into detail about how my life was damaged by bullying and I can even go into more detail about events that happened.  But, that is not the only thing I want to talk about.  I want to say to all of those who are getting bullied or going through a difficult time that it is going to be okay.  It is difficult now, but it will get easier.  It may take years, but it will get better.  I used to have dark thoughts and was in a dark place.  I could not see myself where I am now, but I am here.  Do not think that no one cares, but we do care.  I care.  I might not know you personally and you might think you are worthless, but everyone is worthwhile.  You are not worthless.  You might one day find the cure for cancer, save a life, or make a person's day happier.  Do not give up because you are a unique individual and there is only one you.